The Hajj and Cream - A M&T Songhai AAR

Author: lokigtvarre
Published: 2018-04-24, edited: 1970-01-01
Welcome to Songhai. Once a kingdom of trade, attracting merchants from all over the islamic and parts of the christian Europe aswell. Now the former capital, Gao, is under Malian, and the Songhai are in a sad state of affair.
But fear not. Prophecies speak of a ruler that will tear down the temples of Mali and create an empire so powerful he will become featured in Civilization V
That man is not our ruler. Mar Andan is a greedy money hungry man. Preffering the company of fat stacks of dough instead of generals. Some questioned his ascension to the throne. "Can a rich guy with no experience lead our great country?" Many people blame Russia for his title, but when asked no one even knows what russia is. Strange.
Songhai, came to be a great empire with strict rules based on the Qu'uran, which laid the foundation for the trust between Songhai and its many trading partner. Now however it seems Mar Andan is the only one who actually knows hot to read the book. He at least claims he knows how to read.
One day we will reclaim our proud city of Gao, but to do so Songhai must grow to be able to match the Malian might. If we were to go up against their empire at the moment we would face the same fate as countless west african tribes before. We will instead befriend Kel Adrar. They seem nice.
They immidietly rival us. Things are getting a little bit shaky in Mar Andans palace.
But he puts his fate in Allah and decide to subscribe to subscribe to Al'ex Jo'nes Info Conquest, for reliable news.
People start to question Mar Andans faith. A ruler who won't do the Hajj seems really unpious. When confronted by reporters from Info Conquest he reveals that its only the cost that stops him. 3 ducats is waaay to much.
Mar Andan instead focuses on developing the lands, establishing a legal system which surely will put us miles ahead of our neighbours in technological advantages.
The shady people of Songhai charters shady schedules surrounding Kabbi.
we did in fact not get a that big of an advantage
The few muslim citizens of Songhai becomes more and more annoyed with the Dio(kings) reason not to complete the Hajj. This time however he says he got a sour throat which stops him from going.
Rich people are beginning to avoid taxes. Since Mar Andan is one of the one trying to avoid taxes he doesn't mind.
Mar Andan orders everyone in songhai to create best friends-bracelets engraved with "Songhai
Its time to make our friendship official
Mar Andan builds up the military and gives the army a fitting name. Soon it will be TIME TO KRUSH!
After seeing their alliance with Mali Mar Andan proclaims he will do the Hajj instead. Waging war is only for unpious people anyways.
Once people thought he was on his way do the Hajj he commands his shady people to once again do shady stuff. This time to Gurma.
Mar Andans mouth starts to water just thinking about all the money that wiull roll in from taxing all the heathens.
More productions = more money. And Mar Andan sure likes his munney.
Our best friends now wants to marry us. Mar Andan figures Allah wont mind as long as he says "no homo"
More muslims=more good people
More muslims=less pagans= less pagan money
Mar Andan feels conflicted.
A son is born. Maybe it was Nûh the prophecies spoke of. He seems like a warring type of guy from birth. The fact that he doesnt look like a Civ screenshot troubles Mar Andan. Maybe he wont be the propheciesed after all.
Now the rich people have become angry with Mar Andan. They say a unpious ruler creates ba PR for the companies and urges Mar Andan to do the Hajj. MAr Andan grunts and packs his bags.
Now shady people from Kabi are trying to steal our lands? Thats unfair! Its outrageous!
Now shady people from Yatenga are also trying to steal our lands? Thats also unfair! Its outrageous!
Shadypeople from Songhai are trying to steal Borgu lands. Now thats really unfair! I mean its fair.
Bigger army= bigger wins. Thats atleast what Mar Andan is saying. According to rumors he is just about ready to leav for the Hajj.
We will have the greatest wars. The best war. Everyone who knows me says its so.
Mar Andan SHOCKS everyone he wasnt on the Hajj al along. He would rather risk his life in combat thn travel to that holy city half a world away.
He renames the army to the Gurma Guilliotines and prepares for war. Some soldiers asko how we will make us of guilliotines in was, after all they seem quite clumpsy. Mar Andan shushes him and says its only for PR
Mar Andan creams his pants when he hears about the rich trading city of Oyo-Ilé and what riches waits there for him.
His pants get even more creamed once he hears he must wage war against more people to get Oyo-Ilé, and therefore wont have to do the Hajj.
It seems we weren't as close to Kel Adrar as we thought. Mar Andan orders everyone to burn their best-friends-bracelets.
The Gurma Guilliotiners start marching into Gurma. Many are complaining that carrying the guilliotines are straing their backs. Mar Andan puts a tax on complaining.
Loot just enough bois! Mar Andan screams on the battlefiled.
Mar Andan is offered a tough deal. He hates pagans, but 25 ducats is 25 ducats. People begin talking behind his back. After all, he forgot to say "no heathen" after the deal.
More and more money pours in. In 10 years we will have gained 10 moneys. Mar Andan smiles
Mar Andan SHOCKS everyone on the battlefield and wins. Spectators say its because they outnumbered the enemy 4 to 1, but Mar Andan is sure it his awesome ability to lead troops.
More and more land gets sieged down. If we are at constant war Mar Andan may never have to make the Hajj.
The capital falls. After throwing guilliotines at the inhabitants over the walls for over 3 months the Borgu are eager to make peace.
They recieve the B I G A N N E X
Mar Andan takes only a small amount of the money hoping people will forget about the Hajj.
Songhai has grown to doubble the size. We have aquired a not so good friend and Mar andan has changed his pants 2 times. Soon we will be able to take what is ours from Mali, and Mar Andan might do the Hajj. Who knows what will happen. Find Out in the next episode of Songhainball Z!!!

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