MEIOU&Taxes 2.0 Brittany AAR/Mod Showcase -- Part 10: The Calm Before the Storm

jesus how long has it been since the last part over two weeks?

Shit. Sorry. We're ten parts into this shit and I'm already starting to lose interest. Not in playing M&T, but in writing this AAR. It's a lot of effort for something pretty bad that I won't get any money from.

Anyways, back to the game. A request for money comes from Rome. "Think of the heretics' misguided children, going to sleep every night with an empty heart. Please donate to our cause and help those in need." Jane more than happily donates, although most of the money mysteriously disappears on the way and only a fraction is used for training and hiring missionaries.

Alright buckle up there's gonna be a bunch of M E C H A N I C E X P L A N A T I O Ns in this part.

Nantes, the capital of Brittany, is somewhat ironically not Breton but French. As you can see, there's no "commit genocide" button (of course, in vanilla the button represents governmental programs to promote state culture in the province via migration, colonization, intermarriage and education, not genocide). How does culture conversion work then? Well, it's complicated.

Simply put, provinces adjacent to those with accepted culture that have no separatism have a chance to convert to your main culture. There's a lot of factors affecting the time it takes for this to happen, as well as a bunch of special historical modifiers quickening conversion. Highly populated and autonomous provinces are very unlikely to convert quickly and accepted culture reduces speed by a whopping 75%. Once conversion happens an event will ask you if you really want the ancient cultural heritage of thousands of people to be eradicated. Of course you do. Why is there even a question?

The greater nobles actually decided to do something with all the money they've been hoarding. The farm estates around Nantes and Rennes have been upgraded, increasing rural production.

Note that for some reason the estates get to build stuff super fast, so fast that you usually won't even notice that they built anything. It's good to occasionally check the province history to see what has been built.

Each level of farm estate/plantation adds 0,05 rural production per rural pop. Rural production is basically vanilla's "goods produced" which has been changed to "rural goods produced" in M&T. You can see the value in the lower left corner. Rural production increases food consumption as peasants growing wheat for export apparently sell all of it and use the money to buy wheat for themselves. Weirdos.

Here you can see the value and the modifiers affecting it.

Pro hack: Use the special map mode to fill the province with trade map icons to get a bunch of free rural production.

Aragon counter rivaled us. Come on man, I was just helping my pal to loot and pillage your country and kill hundreds of your subjects. We might have also burned down a town or two. No reason to hold a grudge.

b-but i haven't revoked any privileges lately...

Jane's close relative has recently gained plenty of support from disgruntled nobility. He claims to be John's rightful heir and accuses Jane of taking his title.

Too bad nothing happens thanks to low unrest in the province.

Man, they really need to balance these things. I miss my rebel stacks, woke me up from sleep every now and then during peace time.

Jane repays some loans she took from Dutch bankers and is free of debt once more. Now she can finally start her ambitious naval projects.

SCANDAL! Jane is accused of having sex with one of the courtiers during the war while her husband was gone. Louis is as surprised as Jane is but much more angry than her. I wonder why. The evidence is not concrete but nevertheless convincing.

However, Jane uses her skills with the tongue (not that kind of skills). She takes a solemn oath before the Bishop of Rennes, stating she had only ever had marital relations with Louis and no one else. She was so convincing that all witnesses confirm the oath without any doubt. Those who accused her soon confess they had lied, but Jane pardons them.

The above was based on a historical scandal Queen Jadwiga of Poland had to suffer through. She probably thanked God that no paparazzis existed in the middle ages.

The Irish rise in rebellion and fight against the king's armies. Lack of roads and ports and difficult terrain mean that CE is garbage. Combined with the "clan lands" modifier this means Ireland has a lot of unrest.

What's happening, you ask? I tag switched to France (no I'm not playing on Ironman as I am not a masochist) to show off vassal mechanics. About time I did that.

When you have vassals (or PU subjects) you get this option in the decisions tab. You want to click this every time a ruler of a vassal state dies. Let me explain why.

Fuck I need a bigger screen

Eh you're not missing anything except for the image.

Vassal integration is completely different in M&T. A lot of factors affect how quickly you can swallow up a vassal. There's a big list of factors here, and assimilation process in the bottom for all vassals. As you can see, it can take a long time. But there's a way to reduce that a bit.

(Note that France has special mechanics for vassals. Also, usually it takes less than 100 years to integrate a vassal. France is a special case)

By clicking the name of a vassal ruler you get this: a more detailed breakdown of factors and an option to quicken the integration, available once per vassal ruler. It's not visible here but if you click the button then you pay mana and there's a chance that assimilation time will be reduced by a number of years (15 if I remember right). There's also a chance it fails.

As you can see, the biggest factor in slowing down Frace's intergation of vassals is high decentralization. Usually assimilation takes about 100 years.

Hand cannons are becoming increasingly common in the Breton army, especially thanks to Louis. He likes big guns and he cannot lie.

Jane begins her long-term navy expansion project. First step consists of merchant-friendly policies encouraging them to build armed ships which can then be drafted during war.

Thanks to Brest's modifier (no breast modification jokes please) shipbuilding is easier here. Historical as later on Brest became one of France's most important naval bases. Usually bay modifiers and some natural ports have these bonuses.

M E C H A N I C E X P L A N A T I O N

Provinces don't just build buildings in themselves (that's a weird sentence), but in neighbouring provinces as well. You'll see this in very wealthy provinces with a lot of urban infrastructure. It's simply cheaper to build in nearby countryside than in a cluttered city.

This is called the metropole mechanic. It's pretty rare but nonetheless neat.

Also the AI really loves warehouses for some reason. That's one fetish I've never seen before.

M E C H A N I C E X P L A N A T I O N

Sometimes you'll see this modifier in a capital city of a country. This means that the state has begun a project to upgrade their cathedral into a SUPERCATHEDRAL. It gives big bonuses but takes a long time to build. One per nation.

A neat if cheesy tactic is to wait for nations to build these SUPERCATHEDRALS and then conquer them. If you keep doing it you'll get a ridiculous amount of missionary strength. Useful for a world conquest attempt, if you have no life and thus have time for that.

Here's the SUPERCATHEDRAL of London. Basically Notre Dame.

Jane has heard reports of the bishop of Saint-Malo's substitute being shit at his job. She decides to test his knowledge and competence by sending him a letter with a series of questions about the teachings of the Bible. The stand-in replied "Excuse me, your highness, but I am not familiar with this book you speak of. In fact, I have never even heard of it."

Some days later he was fired and replaced with a proper priest.

The power struggle in Rome continues, and for the first time in decades a cardinal loyal to France has become pope.

Poor Mamluks.

During his time in the University of Angers Francois has grown quite fond of architecture. He even went on a couple of trips to Italy to see the grand renaissance buildings there and studied under Italian architects. Later he visited new bastides in Southern France, where he fell in love with the grid plan.

Any construction cost reductions are fucking amazing in M&T, considering how important infrastructure is. Let's hope Francois doesn't die on a hunting trip or something.

The county of Aunis is now administratively a fully integrated part of Brittany.

A new ship built in Brest is named "Jeanne", after the Duchess. She'd be flattered if she didn't agree with Dante, who said that flatterers are doomed to swim in shit in the 8th circle of Hell.

That's not a crude joke, that's what Dante actually wrote. Except he wrote "excrement" instead of "shit" but what's the difference?

JUST

While the autonomy and privileges of the nobles of Aunis have been guaranteed, Jane still increases central control in her county and replaces some local judges with her own.

Louis and Jane have been discussing strategy lately, as both have learned a lot in the recent war. Jane is now more confident about giving orders thanks to her husband, who believes aggression wins battles.

The bishop of Rennes, Anselme de Chantemerle, was never an orthodox priest. Quite the opposite. He held some radical beliefs bordering heresy, such as the belief that when administering the Eucharist everyone should get both bread and wine, instead of only priests getting wine. Fucking horrible.

(Again, not making this up, Calixtines are all about this belief: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utraquism)

This made a lot of people very angry and now that anger has been unleashed. Anselme sends letters to Jane begging for help, thinking that she'd be in debt after the events of the court scandal.

I get real lucky and the unrest penalty will apply to the same province where the pretender is organizing. Getting 10 additional unrest is too much.

But instead of helping Jane sends no response and leaves the mob alone. If she wasn't a duchess, she'd join the fanatics. Fucking heretic cunt, only priests deserve the blood of Christ.

Unfortunately for her Anselme survives as a loyal noble comes to assist him with his own bannermen. The mob is driven back and many are killed. The peasants had mildly injured Anselme, but Jane had injured him the most. He'll never forgive her for not coming to aid.

FUCK, there goes the rest our legitimacy.

The outdated ships of the merchant fleet undergo serious upgrades and redesigns. With Jane's support, the navy is modernized within years.

Good news everyone! The Food Information Mod has been updated. It's available on the forums: https://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/index.php?threads/submod-food-information-tab.1028566/

We can see how fucking devastated Aunis' local economy is after the war. Also note how the urban populace is making almost as much money as the rural populace, despite being miniscule in comparison. It's thanks to salt production.

Also, the salt production has dwindled to 7 units, where previously it was 9 units. Mines shrink over time unless new deposits are found.

New idea group time! Jane is a fan of asceticism, the ideal that material wealth is unimportant and one should live in poverty. Indeed, her casual clothes are rugged, but she still wears expensive fancy clothing made from Wallonian luxury cloth during formal events. She's a duchess and must command respect in the eyes of others.

Asceticism is fucking amazing. Cheaper construction, higher production, more stability. Hell yes.

France continues to insert its slimy blue tentacle deeper inside the HRE.

W H A T T H E F U C K

There you go, ladies and gent-- wait who am I kidding? There you go, gentlemen. Rome is catholic now. Byzantiboos mourn and cry.

Constantinople's latin patriarch Jean de La Rochetaillée (ANOTHER FUCKING JOHN DAMMIT) couldn't be happier right now as he moves from Rome to Constantinople. Yup. They fucking did it. Rome is catholic.

When Jane read Dante's writings, she dipped her toes into the warm soup of the Renaissance and quite liked it. She's buying more and more books from abroad, each discussing religion in depth. While her court is spartan with minimal funding, some artwork is also acquired by her, such as a large painting of Virgin Mary, drawn in a completely new style that actually attempts to emulate the real world instead of whatever delirium medieval art had tried to imitate.

The Renaissance is here, bitches.

Fun fact: 95% of European populace did not feel the effects of the renaissance. In fact, their lives did not change much until the 19th century and industrialization. Much of the shit you read in history books was irrelevant to the common people. In general, "history" means "history of the upper class".

We're ahead of time on diplo tech by 9 years because I want to rush colonization.

Also, I think trade efficiency (and mercantilism, and something else I don't remember) has been nerfed to the ground in M&T for balance reasons. Trade can be hilariously profitable in vanilla.

Jane tries to increase the amount of noble officers in the navy, and succeeds.

There's an error in the idea flavour text, it should say "Brittany" instead of "Burgundy". Yes, Charles was not a breton but a frenchman. Pretty sure I covered that. No wonder his moustache was so glorious, as the French fucking love moustaches. Look at Pornhub statistics, moustache porn is most popular in France, just like My Little Pony porn is in Belarus.

I'm afraid only half of that sentence is false.

"faith AND reason"
*chuckles in amusement*
*grins mockingly*
*tips fedora*

Anselme has formally whined about Jane and her behaviour. She failed to protect him from a band of vagabonds and knaves and thus failed in her duty as a Duchess. Nobles loyal to him show their support by not attending the Estates of Brittany that year.

Jane gives in and admits her faults, repents and prays for forgiveness. While this appeases many, Anselme and others continue to dislike her, and her already shaky prestige suffers even more.

Indeed, the loyalty of the nobility has been waning as of late, along with Jane's legitimacy and prestige. While it is against her ascetic ideals, she decides to rebuild the castle of the dukes of brittany (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C3%A2teau_des_ducs_de_Bretagne) and make it a truly grand residence fitting for a duchess. The halls are adorned with religious art Jane had acquired. Francois returns to Nantes after many years to assist the renovations and thanks to him the buildings within the castle walls receive a new, early modern look. The new palace greatly impresses the nobility and even gets some international attention.

Thank you RNGesus, this is exactly what I needed.

Oh, nevermind. I was hoping for Ryazan to form russia for once but they just got fucked by the Mongols. And now Muscovy has allied with Nizhny Novgorod, the second most powerful princely state. Ryazan is fucked.

There we go. I fucking knew it.

I think Muscovy isn't supposed to have that CB after the new patch, but this is an old save so it probably didn't work

The Autokrator of Rome realized that embracing the western rite would bring his people closer to many catholic kingdoms which could help them against the Turkish menace. Thus Latin becomes the official language of his court and Roman scholars flock to Italy to study this language. Countless texts are translated from greek to latin, and consequently many lost texts are rediscovered in the west. Thus the renaissance movement strengthens.

Jane is an avid reader of renaissance literature, and is fascinated by the new ideas such as humanism. But some texts creep the fuck out of her. They stray too close to heresy and too many of them openly mock the church. While she agrees the church has flaws, she wants to fix them instead of abandoning Rome and embracing heresy.

Oh boy the reformation is coming. Prepare your asses for a wild ride.

The English fail to quell the flames of unrest in Ireland and the clans keep trying to become independent. Richard III, King of England, Ireland and Portugal, prepares a large expedition to punish the traitors.

But then news come from the south and the expedition is cancelled. Or, well, it's not cancelled but the destination is changed.

The new destination is Brittany.

*SCARY WAR HORN SOUND*

OH FUCK

AQUITAINE HAS HAD ENOUGH OF ENGLAND'S SHIT

WAR TIME BITCHES

"We have joined Aquitaine"
"We are now at war with Aquitaine"

haha silly game

Oh look, Albret wants independence too and has joined Aquitaine. Me and Castile have promised to support them. On the other side, England has allied with Scotland and has a PU over Portugal. We outnumber the enemy on land, but are outnumbered on the sea.

Our ships immediately attack a lone portugese caravel.

The ship is boarded and its crew surrenders after a short fight. Corte Real is now part of the Breton navy.

We're off to a good start.

Afterwards the ships sail north towards Brittany and receive a message that an allied caravel from Albret has been attacked by the English. Our navy sails to the rescue.

What's in the image is a bit confusing. We have 5 ships fighting the English with Albret and only one ship retreating from the north, not four.

One fierce skirmish later the English retreat with some damage. Our navy pursues and is joined by one more caravel. The scottish ships that were near Cornwall were mostly transports and retreat.

whatever fam i'm not planning to go on the offensive

Herpesdildo leads his army to Beira Alta and besieges local castles. Portugal is the only enemy accesible by land and will get group raped.

Cornwall and its coastal towns are blockaded, but our ships are forced to retreat when 16 white sails appear on the horizon. Indeed, it is the mighty Portugese navy. We have no chance against them.

The Portugese give chase, but the lone ship of Albret engages them, giving us time to escape.

Thank you caravel. Your sacrifice will be remembered. *sad music plays* It will be remembered forever. Farewell.

Press F to pay respects.

The fleet returns to the safety of the port of Nantes. Corte Real has suffered some damage and carpenters get to work repairing it.

While the ships are in port Jane retrains the naval officers and improves fleet logistics and communications.

It's nice to see that the national ideas are very fitting. They've done their homework, that's for sure.

The Portugese blockade the ports of Aquitaine and Albret, most notable of which is Bordeaux. Meanwhile the army of Aquitaine marches to Portugal and they can't be stopped with ships.

What about the mighty Castilian navy? Will they come and beat back the Portugese?

Nah, they're chilling in the port of Cadiz and the sailors are enjoying local prostitutes. Seems like some ships are damaged and require repairs.

It's a shame we can't invade England. They have a fuckload of provinces without even basic forts. Wessex here is completely undefended and has plenty of wealth just sitting there, begging to be looted.

Oh shit. Here come the English.

Loïc and Louis return to the field and take command of the army. Louis is still in an advisory position, but only officially. The symptoms of Loïc's head trauma have only worsened over time and he barely speaks now. Most people think he's just quietly and wisely planning war strategies and let him keep his position.

Also, our navy was quickly relocated to Brest, so they can access the channel quicker if need be. I'm tempted to attack the small fleet of transport ships, but I'm afraid of more ships coming out of the fog of war.

Called it.

We could've beaten the English army. But we can't beat them when they're joined by their friends.

Scots and anglos being friends is a pretty absurd thing to see, I'll be honest.

Of course, it's not like we can't have any reinforcements either. I was hesitant to ask the nobles to help as they only have 38% loyalty, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Thankfully the English land first, almost a month before the Scots will. They immediately besiege Saint Malo, but we're coming to help them.

The english are already outnumbered, but I want them defeated quickly. The garrison of Saint Malo sallies out and comes to the aid of their Breton brothers.

Victory! And just in time before the Scots arrive.

With the nobles joining us with their personal regiments, we outnumber the scots greatly.

Yet another great victory. Brittany is safe, for now. Both Loïc and Louis are hailed as saviours and heroes. Loïc is no longer sure what those words mean but meekly smiles anyways.

We may have won the battles, but not the war as it continues to rage. I'll continue reporting about it (yes, reporting, this is an After Action Report, after all) next time.

I swear it won't take half a month to appear. I swear on me mum. If I nevertheless betray and fail you, punish me by forcing me to play HOI4.