Alpha-Battle part C - Crazy Cool Civs Commence Carnage, Causing Casualties

Hello, and welcome to the Cth part of the Alpha-Battle. I’m Dvohoritch, the host for this chapter, and as usual, 21 civs have gathered here, all beginning with the letter C, to fight to the death for everyone’s entertainment.

Starting in the west, here we have the Cherokee in brown up top, Chile in blue, Croatia in white, the Cree sporting baby blue, California with another shade of brown and finally Canada in their usual red.

Out of these civs, the Cherokee, Chile and Canada are the clear favorites in the Strawpoll, all grabbing two votes.

Down to the south, we meet our next six contestants. On the left in yellow are the Chola, followed by Cyprus in baby-er blue, the Calusa in not-so-baby blue, the Caral in burgundy, the Cumans in black and finally the Confederates in red.

According to the Strawpoll, none of these civs are favorites to grab the win.

Moving on to the northern part of the continent, six more civs await us. First off is the Strawpoll’s overall favourite, Corsica in blue. Up in the north is China in their commie red. Below that in beige is Cornwall, flanked by the Champa in purple. Across the mountain range at the far right side are the Canton Pirates. Finally, the Comanche are at the bottom, again in red.

Beyond Corsica, the only civ to get three whole votes, the Strawpoll also has faith in the Comanche to be a mayor contender, being the only civ in this batch that has managed to grab two votes. China is probably going to be this game’s comic relief, being quite poop and all, although they did win an AI game once.

Finally, we have our last three contestants. Up top in brown are the Chinook, followed by Cuba on the left and Carthage on the right, both in green.

According to the Strawpoll none of these civs have gotten more than one vote, with the Chinook not getting any at all.

With the introductions out of the way, let the carnage begin!

The first thing that’s remotely interesting happens on turn 29, with Cyprus grabbing the Great Library. Some civs have also managed to grab their third city, like California, who even made a canal city for maximum circlejerk points. Ottawa looks very boxed in, with both the Cree and the Calusa forward settling in its neighbourhood. Chola expanding Ottawa’s way is the cherry on top.

The CSA is the second civ to grab a third city, settling New Orleans. Cornwall is for now the final civ to get to three cities, forward settling Corsica who has forward settled China, probably crippling Mao right out of the gate.

Just one turn later, Both Cuba and Champa declare war on the Confederates. Without a military to speak of, Jefferson Davis might be in a world of hurt if the attackers actually have the damage to take down a city.

Richmond is starting to take significant damage, but the attacking army is small enough that they probably can’t keep up the momentum.

Richmond is in the red, but Cuba has run out of Warriors nearby. Meanwhile, Champa isn’t able to punch through Montgomery.

Holy dogpile Batman, the Calusa and the Canton Pirates have declared war on the Confederates as well. Fortunately for Dixie, both civs aren’t in a good position to really put pressure on Confederate cities, making the situation better than it looks. Slightly.

The Comanche declare war on Cuba, marching their sizable army on Havana. Cuba is looking kind of sickly, with them being busier throwing arrows at Richmond rather than defending their capital.

Cuba’s capital is starting to take damage while California gets the Statue of Zeus. Cuba’s situation is looking really bad right now.

Loving Jesus is now legal in Comanche, creating Protestantism. What are they protesting against? My guess is Cubans.

Something finally happens on this half of the continent. Croatia declares war on Canada, obviously trying to take over Kingston. Croatia has no easy way to get to Ottawa so Canada will most likely survive this war, but Kingston’s only defences are the jungles around it.

Canada’s situation suddenly becomes a lot grimmer when the Cherokee and the Calusa declare war, making Ottawa vulnerable. The Cree meanwhile start to worship wheels. Alongside Protestantism and Catholicism (which Cornwall founded) this means all religions for this game are created and just one of them starts with a C. Concerning.

The Chinook have the most excess happiness according to Plinypedia. Interestingly, Cuba is not among the top eight because…

...The Comanche took Havana! Fortunately for Castro, it doesn’t look like the Comanche’s army has much momentum left, making Santiago de Cuba safe from invasion for now.

Oh boy, three more wardecs. Champa and the Chinook try to take the Comanche down a notch, but I don’t think the Comanche’s army is thinned out enough to let a city fall. That same turn, the Cumans declare war on China. They’re probably in a position to take Shanghai, but Corsica is a roadblock between it and Beijing. But hey, at least Cuba has one less problem.

The CSA is a lot safer with Champa and Cuba peacing out. Champa can now fully focus on being unable to send troops to the Comanche.

Kingston’s health is almost gone while New Orleans and Shanghai are starting to take damage. It takes some serious balls to attack two cities this early, but the Calusa are doing it.

Kingston gets captured by the Calusa, who promptly set the thing on fire. It’s too bad they did, keeping Kingston and maybe grabbing New Orleans would give them a very strong base to build on. Chile also joins the Canadian war, too late to be able to realistically capture any cities.

On the other side of the continent, a lighthouse gets built.

Forgot about this war? Me too. The Chinook haven’t managed to do much more then gently tickle Húpenúú and waste their own time. But that’s not the interesting part of this screenshot. That would be that Cornwall has built the Terracotta Army and now has a very scary army to throw at someone.

Oh, Shanghai is also at half health, the Chinese unable to move troops past Corsica.

Konchak, Konchak, Konchak… When you manage to get a city nearly down to zero health, don’t peace out. It only disappoints everyone. It disappoints me more since the Cumans have technically been fought to a white peace by just a city they should easily be able to take. Against China.

Our streak of disappointment continues as Kingston is finally wiped from the map and the Calusa have been pushed away from New Orleans, leaving them with basically nothing for their efforts.

Cornwall throws its magnificent army on the Comanche, probably dragging Cuba along for some company. Kúhtsútúúka is virtually undefended and separated from the Comanche core, courtesy of the Confederates. It’d be a miracle if Parker can hold off the Cornish hordes.

Right beside that, Corsica continues what the Cumans failed to finish and declares war on China.

Shanghai is very nearly reduced to nothing while Cornwall takes its time moving on Kúhtsútúúka, tickling it in the process.

Tis a good turn for the Calusa though, because after all they built the wonderwall. Maybe that’s going to be the thing that saves ‘em.

And there goes Shanghai, Corsica doing the smart thing and opting to keep the city. Fortunately for China it looks like Beijing is well-defended by both a military and terrain, which could be enough to save them from getting eliminated first.

The Chola want in on this whole “Beating on the Comanche” thing, not realizing that is difficult without both a large military and being on other ends of the continent. But hey, if they’re happy with it I’m not going to dispute their decisions.

Cornwall, not having to bother with these minor issues, continues to swing at Kúhtsútúúka. They’re doing pretty well at it too, considering the terrain isn’t very advantageous for them.

The Calusa, always responsive to the latest fashions, declare war on the Comanche, which they too can’t reach. More sensible is the Canton Pirates joining in, seeing as they have a direct border with the Comanche capital.

Meanwhile, Cornwall, trendsetters that they are, actually show a completely new way of behaving by actually fighting and winning. I hope this catches on as well.

This is a devastating turn for the Comanche, with Kúhtsútúúka captured, the Chinook finally having a real breakthrough to their capital and Carthage suspiciously surrounding Havana with pretty much their entire army. The Comanche situation has turned from beating back the occasional Chinook unit to fighting for survival.

But hey, at least California is putting its resources to good use.

It’s a race to be last as the Caral have declared war on what’s left of Cuba. Meanwhile, the Comanche capital is in the yellow. Carthage hasn’t declared war yet, being the wildcard to decide if the Comanche might survive or not. China, the third contestant in this race, is holding off Corsica just fine.

The Calusa, however, were tired of raiding Canadian lands and have peaced out.

Comcomly decided killing the Comanche isn’t all that and peaces out even though they managed to get Húpenúú down to a sliver of health. I suppose he’s just following in the Cumans’ footsteps by wearing down a city, to then basically give it away to a neighbour. In this case, probably the Canton Pirates.

And Champa was at war with the Comanche? Well the more you know. 100% sure that nothing at all happened with that though.

WILDCARD BABY! Carthage, in their infinite wisdom and wildcard-ness, decides to compete with the Caral over Cuba, foregoing that perfectly surrounded and takable Havana. The Canton Pirates do the sensible thing and beat Húpenúú some more.

Plinypedia comes out with its second edition, still focusing on happy people. Cuba is surprisingly happy seeing as they’re being slapped around by Hannibal and Qhapac. Count your blessings I suppose.

And there goes Santiago de Cuba, leaving Cuba in last place. They didn’t start off too badly, performing reasonably well in their war with the Confederacy, but their loss of momentum (and army) was capitalized on by the Comanche. They never really recovered from that.

Cyprus finally does something and attacks the Chola. Not a bad move at all, seeing as the Chola don’t have much of an army, but Cyprus does have a relatively modern and large army. The open terrain also won’t help matters for Raja Raja I.

Comcomly, intent on saving the Comanche again, declares war on the Canton Pirates. The Pirate core looks quite empty, but the Chinook’s performance when it comes to warfare has been spotty at best.

Surprise! Cornwall captured Húpenúú! I didn’t think the AI would be insane enough to get a unit across that 5-tile corridor and lucky enough to have that one unit be enough to actually capture that city, but hey, unlikely things happen.

Mr. Wildcard strikes again, going for the kill on the Comanche. I think only another civ collapsing even harder would save the Comanche from finishing 20th.

Not everyone can be a winner in the world of fashion, especially not if the fashion is killing you. The Comanche learned this the hard way this game, finishing in 20th place. They didn’t start off too badly, grabbing a city from Cuba and holding off the Chinook, but then Cornwall attacked. And the Canton Pirates. And Carthage. And like 4 other civs that couldn’t actually touch them but just joined in because dogpiling the Comanche was the cool thing to do.

It ain’t looking good for China at all, with the Corsicans breaching through their defenses and bringing Beijing down to yellow health. The Canton Pirates are also in a bit of trouble since their capital is getting damaged without a lot of units to defend it.

Let’s check up on the Cyprus-Chola war, shall we? Not a whole lot has happened, but Cholapuram is taking severe damage. The good news for Chola fans is that the Cypriot army is severely reduced and has almost no melee units left.

Meanwhile, California does what it’s done all game and builds a really nice church.

Well nevermind having hope for Chola then. With their capital taken over, they’ve practically become another Canada, except Chola’s enemies are on their doorstep instead of 20 tiles away. On the other side of the continent, Champa and the Cumans declare war on Caral, neither of them being able to reach their enemy. Good on you, Cumans and Champa, good on you.

The Canton Pirates managed to make peace with the Chinook. This makes more sense, since the Chinook didn’t really make much progress beating down Canton.

Raja Raja makes peace with Cyprus, saving himself for now. Beijing is also about to fall, ending something that was pretty much inevitable.

Two turns later Beijing falls, dropping China in at 19th place. They never really got any moment to shine, being forward settled by Corsica, beat up by the Cumans and finally conquered by Corsica again. The bright spot is that they’ve managed to hold out long enough not to be last.

In other news, Jefferson Davis declared war on the Calusa, probably as a revenge for that last war. Seeing as the Confederates now have an army (and a fairly modern one to boot), it’s far more evenly matched.

After a few turns of doing not much, the CSA peaces out with the Calusa.

Somehow, Champa has managed to get some units across to the Caral. Not that they’ll do much, but the effort is noted. On the other hand, the Cumans declare war on a civ they can’t reach again, this time Cyprus.

The next turn, Calusa declares war on Cyprus as well. This fight might get a bit interesting, pitting Cypriot Trebuchets against Calusa Longswordmen. Nevertheless I don’t think either has the military to make a decisive push.

Peter’s train has no breaks, declaring war on the Chola, bringing the Cree in as well. The Chola can’t do much, but the war with the Calusa is a major roadblock, preventing Cyprus from committing all of their army on that front.

With 100 turns out of the way, let’s recap with some statistics! First is Ptolemy’s treatise, the Owmagest, about the pointiness of sticks around the world. Carthage’s sticks are quite pointy indeed, with Canada’s sticks being the bluntest.

Yet more statistics, yeah! Military-wise it’s a very close race between Carthage and Cornwall, with the rest of the pack being very close to each other at around 70.000 to 100.000, except for Chola and Canada, who both have a military that’s way below average. I also wanted to thank the game for literally throwing up the “pointiest sticks” screen on the turn I wanted to do InfoAddict, making this slide a bit pointless.

When it comes to manufacturing, Cornwall is ahead as well, closely followed by the Chinook. Carthage is in a shared third place, showing that the military they’ve built up is due to time, not industrial might.

In any case, the story is the same here. Two civs sticking out, followed by a pack that are all close, followed by Canada and the Chola that have fallen behind.

Finally, let’s look at the technologies.Here the Chinook and Carthage are ahead, although no civ has really pulled away here. The only civ that falls outside of the 23-27 technologies pack are the Chola, with just 21 techs.

With the stats for turn 100 out of the way, let’s continue with the carnage! The CSA immediately declares war on the Cumans, which are probably a better target than the Calusa. Without any advantage in terrain the sizable Confederate military has a chance to push through the Cuman defenses.

Hannibal decides to throw his army at the Caral. This isn’t that bad an idea, but the lack of big land borders between them could really kill the Carthaginian momentum.

Outside of this screenshot, the Chola’s last city is taking damage from Cypriot bombardment.

The Cree captured Thanjavur, ending the career of Raja Raja I and the existence of the Chola, finishing 18th. They didn’t do much at all this game, only declaring war on other civs when they couldn’t reach them overland. Then Cyprus showed them how someone should warfare (Rule 1: Declare war on your neighbour). The Cree joining in was just the cherry on top.

Also, all of those messages are denouncements against Carthage. Not that it matters, but it’s funny to imagine literally everyone spit taking the moment Hannibal declares war on a civ that can fight back.

Gwendolen declares war on Champa, needing a new target. The Champa are isolated though, letting them build up quite a decent carpet. It’s a tossup on if Cornwall can actually cut a way through said carpet, although my money would be on “They will peace out in 10 turns or so”.

Also three more denouncements of Carthage. The last one is Calusa denouncing Chile of all people.

Santiago de Cuba flips, but more interestingly California is finally roused from doing nothing except building wonders and goes after Canada. I wish California good luck trying to get units to Ottawa, but if they can pull it off Canada is finished.

Well the Cree joined in, GG Canada. Those peaces that have been made are completely irrelevant, just like the wars they stopped were.

Santiago de Cuba keeps flipping.

The Confederacy had its fun fighting the Cumans, while the Calusa put Pikemen into Cypriot territory. Ottawa’s fall is just a matter of time now.

Cholapuram flips, and Canada dies. Their second city was unfortunately placed, which became a problem when everyone bordering it declared war. After that Canada just existed, too weak to do anything but being lucky enough not to be surrounded by super aggressive neighbours. Ultimately, they finished 17th.

In other news, Croatia decided to have a go at the Cumans now, not giving them enough time to rebuild their armies. Croatia on the contrary has had all the time in the world to build up something good.

Somewhere around this time Champa made peace with the Caral too, but it was so irrelevant that I didn’t bother to screenshot it.

Cholapuram gets captured again by the Calusa, although their hold on it is weak at best. On the other side of the continent, Sarkel is taking a bit of damage. Caral and Carthage also peace out, Carthage probably being better off, since Santiago de Cuba got flipped back to 1 population.

As expected, Cholapuram flips back to Cyprus, with the Calusa having more troubles ahead, since Chile and Caral have declared war on Caalus. The Chilean army is well positioned to capture Muspa and Caral is close enough that the Calusa can’t just ignore them. The only thing they’ve really got going for them is the Great Wall around their capital, making defense a lot easier.

Jefferson Davis has declared war on Champa, trying to steal Vijaya from Cornwall, who has managed to put it into the yellow. Nonetheless, the two attacking armies together should make Champa sleep badly at night.

Not pictured is Cholapuram, which at this point is fairly safely held by the Calusa.

The Cherokee want to break out of their little corner of the world, and do so by attacking the Cree. The Cree are the weaker party here, with their core being stretched out, compared to the Cherokee who have both a concentrated army and core. The Cherokee also are the first civ I’ve seen that has gunpowder units, mixing in a few Aniwinas.

The Cumans hold off yet another attack, managing to make peace with Croatia. Nothing much was happening in that war anyway so good on the Cumans I guess.

Ehm, what? Corsica, California and Cyprus all declare war on Carthage on the same turn. None of these civs have any way to get a meaningful army to Carthage, nor is Carthage weak enough to just be gobbled up by a loose Pikeman and a Trebuchet.

Most baffling is Cyprus, who has a very angry Calusa being very good at bashing in Limassol’s face. Not that the Calusa have any melee units nearby, but what they have is still a major nuisance to the Cypriots.

Speaking of Cyprus, Carthage actually managed to flip Limassol. In other news, World War Carthage grows as 5 civs declare war on Hannibal in the same turn. The Cumans, Cherokee, Confederates, Cornwall and the Chinook all want to have a swing as well. Most worryingly for Carthage is that some of those civs even share a land border.

The Cypriots and the Cumans, united in their hatred of civs they most likely can’t reach, make peace.

Meanwhile, Vijaja is squarely in the red. With both Cornwall and the CSA having pikemen near the city, it’s a tossup on who can capture it.

Chile and Champa join World War Carthage while Cornwall is the civ that grabbed Vijaja. It doesn’t look like Champa can flip it back either, making this a major blow for Che Bong.

The Calusa make peace with Cyprus, getting to keep Cholapuram. They have bigger fish to fry, with three civs (Confederacy, Cornwall and the Cree) declaring war on them. Worrying for Caalus, since two of those civs have a direct land border with the Calusa.

Champa also makes peace with Cornwall, losing Vijaja for the time being.

Alberti comes along to rave about sticks or something, claiming that California’s stick is the pointiest. Surprisingly enough, the Cree have a very very blunt stick, even worse than the Champa.

A lot of action in the west too, as two of Poundmaker’s cities are taking serious damage, really showing the Cree’s lack of a military. Meanwhile, Croatia declares war on Chile, already touching Concepcion in the process. This is not a good situation for the distracted Chileans. Over in the east, the Canton Pirates help themselves to what’s left of Champa.

The Cherokee captured Sipiwininiwak, lopping the head off the Cree empire. The Cree don’t have enough military to properly contest the Cherokee, so if the Cherokee AI manages to keep up its momentum it can capture a lot more indeed.

Also Gwendolen built the Oracle, that’s nice.

Concepcion falls, while Sipiwininiwak is properly secured. In contrast to the Cree, Chile does have a well-sized military so the Croatians can’t rest on their laurels just yet.

In the east, the Champa capital takes a bit of damage.

As expected, Concepcion flips back to Chile.

But let’s look at Carthage, seeing as they’re still at war with 10(!) civs at once. They’re holding up really well, holding off both the Chinook and the Confederates at once. However, Cornwall is sending units down to Havana, probably to take over the fight once the Confederates have fought themselves to death over it.

A lot happening this screenshot, with the Cherokee moving to deliver the killing blow, the Calusa capturing Thanjavur, A cheeky trebuchet shooting at the Calusa capital and Chile decisively beating back the Croatian advance. Cree looks to be in freefall, I’m not sure if they can stabilize the situation.

Champa wasn’t a civ that did much. Not that they performed badly, they just had the bad luck that all of their neighbours were being competent. Then again, I can’t remember any wars that they started that weren’t against civs they couldn’t reach.

Another tragedy happened that very same turn as Konchak decided to end one of their wars against civs they couldn’t reach by giving away one of their two cities. Good going Konchak, good going. You’re really earning a top spot in the next Bad AI Game with these shenanigans.

The Calusa capture Ottawa from the Cree, leaving them with two cities, one of which is being pressured by the Cherokee. Meanwhile, a small Caral force has pushed through the mountains and Great Wall to attack the Calusa capital, which has been left undefended.

Concepcion falls again, with the Chilean military goofing off near Calusa territory instead.

More pushing on Cree, and Croatia making peace with Chile, grabbing Concepcion. I’m not sure what Chile’s AI was thinking, but their military is more than capable of taking that city back.

Ottawa is somehow flipped by Chile, but more importantly Kapawe No has been captured by the Cherokee, leaving the Cree with just one small city at the edge of the world. At this point they’re at California’s mercy.

The Canton Pirates found the World Congress, a moment that really signifies that we’re slowly entering the industrial late-game. Not that much of interest happens there, but they might just outlaw nukes or something silly.

An update on World War Carthage is in order, seeing as the Chinook captured Carthage itself, with the Punic army too busy defending against Cornwall and the Confederates to pose a threat to Comcomly’s new conquest. It appears Hannibal may finally fall soon.

Another thing that happened is the Caral making peace with the Calusa.

Croatia decides to have a go at the Calusa, bringing Comcomly along for the ride. It’s a shame that Croatia’s core looks so empty, because the Calusa really don’t have an army to speak of. Then again, they did make peace with the Confederates, so that’s one less thorn in their side.

Havana gets captured by the Chinook, basically ensuring that they will grab Utique as well. This is a major feather in the cap of the Chinook, who are quickly becoming a real major power in this game, with a secure and connected set of cities and a strong military.

Utique continues to take damage as two completely relevant and nearby civs start a fight that will surely result in many hours of fun and bloodshed.

Chile and the Canton Pirates also join in declaring war on the Cumans, both equally far away and equally unlikely to do something interesting in this war.

The Cypriots try to get revenge on the Calusa for grabbing the formerly Chola cities from them, while the Croatians have to defend from a sizable Caral expeditionary force. Caral might give the Croatians some pause, but Cyprus’ attack might just get somewhere.

Cornwall managed to sneak in a Musketman, capturing Utique and landing Carthage at 15th place. Carthage was a loose cannon this game, doing senseless things and generally fucking shit up wherever it went. Outside of those moments however, they played conservatively, building up their military to far stronger than their production would suggest. Then every other civ collectively got tired of their shit and declared war, causing their carefully built military to be slowly ground down over the next 35 turns. They still did very respectably for a civ having to defend against 2/3rds of the map.

On the other end of the map, the Calusa and Chile finish up a war that was started in better times for Chile.

John Ross of the Cherokee wants to finish off Chile, already damaging Santiago de Chile. Cholapuram is also out of health, thanks to the boatload of cannons Cyprus has built. There’s an awful lack of melee though, so the longevity of the push isn’t as big as it could’ve been.

Concepcion is also looking afwully unhealthy, but the Calusa seem unwilling to actually enter the city.

This is it, the Big One. Maybe even The One That Practically Decides The Game. Cornwall and the Chinook, two of the biggest contenders at this moment, have declared war on each other. From what I can see the fight is fairly evenly matched, with Cornwall having the stronger empire and military, but their assets are scattered and disconnected. The Chinook on the other hand have less of both but everything is more tightly packed together. Meanwhile, in the background, Corsica and the Confederacy loom, with Cornwall probably being a better target than the Chinook, but if nobody intervenes, Cornwall has a decent chance of knocking Comcomly down a notch.

The Calusa trade Cholapuram for Concepcion as California tries to steal Santiago de Chile from the Cherokee.

And so California did, eliminating Chile in 14th place. Chile was one of those civs that didn’t really do much. They existed and played reasonably well up until that unfortunate peace with Croatia. At that point it was a matter of time until a stronger neighbour decided to put them out of their misery.

Corsica and the Cumans declare war on Jefferson Davis, while a whole swathe of civs declare war on Cyprus, most importantly the Caral. If the Caral pursue this war properly, it’s pretty much a death warrant for Cyprus.

The Cornish-Chinook war continues with Havana getting captured by Gwendolen.

Cholapuram flips once more while the Chinook take Utique.

Cyprus lacks enough infantry to flip Cholapuram again, leaving it in the Calusa’s care for now. Croatia now definitely fought off the Calusa attack.

The Big War ends with Cornwall getting Clatsop. Ultimately, with the Chinook one city down, it’s a win for Gwendolen, although not a decisive win. The Cornish empire is still scattered however, something that could be exploited by an equally powerful neighbour.

Some other pointless wars also end so there’s that.

As a conflict between the Cherokee and Croatia begins and another ends, let’s look at the war between the Confederacy and the Corsica-Cuman Coalition. Nothing much has changed hands, but it’s interesting to see the CSA being the first civ to field line infantry in some number. The Corsicans rely on hordes of their unique Musketman replacement instead.

Montgomery is probably Mont-gone-ry as Cornwall joined the war against the Confederates. If Gwendolen plays her cards well, this could cripple another one of her neighbours and leave her even stronger than before.

Caral captured Cholapuram of all places, neatly making sure that Cyprus can solely focus on them now instead of being forced to divide their attention. The World Congress also decided to ban both Incense and the Cree, instantly removing everything unethical from the world.

With the fall of Nicosia, nothing stands in the way of the Caral to take over all of Cyprus, dropping them in the dustbin of history.

Montgomery falls, and Cornwall’s core cities suddenly look a lot stronger. Gone are the days of a one-tile corridor between clusters of cities, now is the time for Cornwall’s AI to really put this newfound real estate to good use.

Satisfied, Gwendolen makes peace with Jefferson Davis, gaining New Orleans out of the peace deal. Meanwhile, a lot of pointless and silly wars start, mostly against Poundmaker.

Comcomly declares war on Poundmaker and the Canton Pirates, hoping to grab an insurance city and hoping to become strong enough to hold against the Cornish pain train respectively. Tomislav I of Croatia instead ties up loose ends with the Calusa and the Cherokee.

The year is 1230AD. Cyprus is entirely occupied by the Caral. Well, not entirely…

One small village of indomitable Cypriots still holds out against the invaders. And if there were any land tiles nearby to host fortified camps, the lives of the Caral legionaries who’d inhabit these camps would not be easy.

But references aside, these captures are a major boon for the Caral, a civ which looks militarily competent, but up until now failed to turn that competency into many conquests.

Pasquale Paoli of Corsica declares war on Poundmaker, giving me a good excuse to show the war between the Canton Pirates and the Chinook, with the Pirates swinging their Junks over to the Chinook coastline. The captured Chinook Esquai-ahs are useful I think, I mean free boats right?

San Francisco takes damage from what’s probably a Pirate ship, which is a good excuse to look at their core. Their military looks competent enough, especially compared to some of their neighbours (Hint: It’s the Cree). It would be real nice if they’d use that military and kill off some of those neighbours (Hint: It’s the Cree).

Oh and Jefferson Davis also declared war on Poundmaker some turns ago, but what’s that gonna do now?

The Chinook get a very large Cornwall-shaped problem on their heads, making a manageable situation a lot worse. This war should be a steamroll in favour of Gwendolen, but Civ AI never ceases to amaze me with their unwillingness to properly finish something.

Peter takes some heat of his back, making peace with the Caral.

Clatsop gets captured by the Chinook, giving the Canton Pirates an opportunity to really start a land war. As far as Cornwall is concerned, that city was kind of indefensible anyway.

Utique is captured by Cornish soldiers, reducing the Chinook to a line of four cities. Meanwhile, the Calusa declare war on Tomislav, starting another fairly one-sided war. I don’t think those Croatian UUs will be a significant roadblock to the Calusa.

The Caral join in the war against the Calusa, giving Croatia a fighting chance. On the other side, Los Angeles is almost reduced to nothing by the Pirate fleet, ironically consisting of only captured Californian ships.

The Canton Pirates take both Clatsop and Los Angeles in the same turn. While they probably aren’t able to hold onto LA, Clatsop is a nice steal from Cornwall.

It looks like the Calusa army has lost cohesion, trying to focus on everything at once. Caral troops are closing in on the Calusa capital and it’s getting to the point where the AI might research Dynamite, invalidating the Great Wall.

Cornwall is also the first to pick an Ideology, choosing to go with Autocracy. A wise choice for a domination-only game.

Clatsop is being recaptured by a single boat, but it’s starting to look really grim for the Chinook here, with both the Pirates and Cornwall starting to overpower them.

Pirate boats near Los Angeles will probably cause that city to keep changing hands for some time.

Clatsop and Los Angeles are recaptured again, the Pirates also make peace with the Cumans, but all of that’s not important because we have statistics to go through!

Corsica has the largest military at the moment, with Cornwall, California, the Cherokee and the Caral not far removed. Of note are the Confederate States, which have a disproportionately large military for a one-city civ.

Cornwall is the clear leader when it comes to production, having nearly double that of the next biggest producers, the Caral and Corsica. The Cherokee and the Canton Pirates occupy the next tier of productiveness, with only Cumania, the Cree and Cyprus (with just 4) lagging behind everyone else.

Technology is a bit different, with the top 11 civs being reasonably close together, dropping off with the Cumans and the Cree.

200 turns have passed, and the world is a changed place. We went from 21 civs down to 13, with 9 real contestants and one favourite. Whether Cornwall can keep up its conquest or is crushed by a coalition of other civs is a question for the future.

Croatia managed to actually hold off the Calusa, earning them a peace treaty. This also means the Calusa can properly focus on holding off the Caral.

Poundmaker pounds out some peace treaties, while Cornwall takes over two of the Chinook’s cities. Surrounded on all sides by enemies, Comcomly’s got nowhere to go.

Comcomly takes Los Angeles from the Canton Pirates, who took it from California. The absolute madmen. This has given them a new lease on life and saved them from imminent elimination, especially since Cornwall’s had enough of fighting them.

Poundmaker also makes more peace.

Wat.

Ching Shi must’ve gotten the idiot ball from the Cumans, giving away Clatsop in a peace treaty with California, the civ that they were (somewhat) winning against. This left the Canton Pirates with nothing in their wars against the Chinook and California. Well played, ol’ Ching, well played.

The Cherokee declare war on the Calusa, thrusting into their back with a well-equipped army. Being one of the first civs to really start using Riflemen, it would be unlikely that the Cherokee can’t capture any cities. The Calusa do have success in their war against the Caral though, capturing Cholapuram.

The Cree are the latest civ to participate in “Who wants to conquer Los Angeles?”. This also puts them back on two cities. Cree fans around the world rejoice. They also manage to scratch off another war, peacing out with Corsica.

With Ottawa secured and Muspa in the red, the Cherokee are definitely pushing back the Calusa. Cholapuram also gets recaptured by the Caral, making this a very bad turn for Caalus.

Muspa falls the next turn. It’s really starting to look like the Calusa are disintegrating. Maybe the Great Wall will actually be their saviour?

Corsica adopts Order, giving us an excuse to look at their core. Corsica hasn’t been doing much, but they have a large and reasonably modern military. The only war they’re involved in is a low-intensity fight against the Confederate States. I’m thinking that if they put their minds on it, they could do some real damage against Cornwall.

The Calusa also managed to flip Muspa, although it has cost them pretty much all their forces in the area to do so.

Corsica instead declares war on the Calusa, since they’re obviously easily in reach of the Corsican military and a huge threat to Corsican interests. In the same vein, Croatia declared war on the Canton Pirates. More logical is California declaring war on Croatia, although I’m afraid that William Ide has given away Santiago de Chile to Tomislav.

As Thanjavur falls to the Caral, there’s a whole slew of war declarations, mostly against the Canton Pirates. The Cherokee are among those civs, but they also declared war on Croatia. California is also amassing an army near Santiago de Chile, making a quick smash-and-grab impossible for the Croatians.

Larnaca has fallen to the Canton Pirates, eliminating Cyprus in 13th place. Cyprus did moderately well, taking over the Chola. Unfortunately, the combined pressure of the Calusa and the Caral were too much for Peter I, with only a quick colonization of a snow island delaying the inevitable. They didn’t manage to be so unnoticable that they could sneak themselves to a higher ranking though.

The Cherokee have also adopted Autocracy in the last few turns.

Concepcion has fallen to a small Californian army, although there’s no doubt that Croatia will recapture it in the next turn. California desperately needs to get those cities to produce an army, to prevent any funny ideas from the Cherokee. Having the Cherokee capture the rest of Croatia would pretty much cement them as the most likely challenger of Cornwall.

The Canton Pirates manage to sneak in and capture Ottawa, while Concepcion is recaptured by Croatia. I think it’s some very good playing coming from Canton, with Ching Shi capturing cities left and right, using their strong navy to great effect to distract and annoy.

Ottawa is recaptured, but the Canton Pirates have relieved pressure on the Croatians, giving them some time to regroup and rebuild.

A few turns have passed and nothing of note has happened. Concepcion is slowly getting pushed, Escampaha is getting captured but no real breakthrough has been made. The only thread that has been solved is the war between Comcomly and the Canton Pirates, which is resolved without Ching Shi giving away a city this time.


Regarding ideologies, the Canton Pirates went with Autocracy while Croatia went with Order.

Ottawa gets captured again by a lone Pirate ship, forcing the Cherokee to divert their armies again to rectify this situation.

The Cherokee make peace with Tomislav, allowing him to live a while longer. This should worry the Calusa, since now John Ross can focus his armies on their last city. California chose to go with Autocracy, which is always a good choice for AI games.

The Caral sweep in and capture Ottawa, denying the Cherokee another city.

Ching Shi causes yet more chaos by capturing Concepcion, which gets recaptured by the Cherokee. I suppose that’s one way to break through Croatian lines.

The Caral peace out with the Canton Pirates, ultimately getting Ottawa from the Cherokee through them. It’s a good thing, since all of Qhapac’s cities are coastal and this prevents the same thing from happening to him.

Santiago de Chile flips between Croatia and California, as John Ross peaces out with the Canton Pirates as well, leaving them with a net gain of nothing out of that war.

Gwendolen restarts her war with the Chinook. This is pretty much GG for Comcomly, but I’d not be surprised if other civs use this as a chance to knock Cornwall down a peg. Caral has adopted Order, in case anyone was wondering about that ideology.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the continent, The Calusa are looking like they could be conquered any turn now.

Two turns later, the Calusa are no more. They ultimately finished in 12th place, having played reasonably competently. They were tenacious on defense, but ultimately the Cherokee just outperformed them militarily. Still, it’s a respectable performance of Caalus and his crew.

Two eliminations in two turns, as Comcomly loses his last city and finishes in 11th place. They did pretty well, being one of the primary contenders for the win until Cornwall pretty decisively crushed those hopes. They lingered on for a while, but the writing was on the wall.

Croatia has been declared war on by Corsica and their loyal allies the Cumans. This should theoretically be an easy win for Corsica, but Croatian tenacity is proven and they don’t share much of a land border.

Croatia engages in shenanigans as they give away Split, under heavy Corsican assault, away to California in a peace deal. This is good for all involved (except Corsica) since California has another badly needed city and Croatia is now mostly shielded from Corsican aggression.

The Caral and Corsica declare war on the Cherokee. With Cornwall looming on the horizon, either the Caral or the Cherokee should win this war decisively to build up strength to beat Cornwall. A white peace would be the best outcome for Cornwall here.

The Cherokee (And the CSA but that’s irrelevant) declare war on Poundmaker. Not a very good idea since Caral is doing a pretty good job keeping John Ross busy. The Canton Pirates make peace with Croatia, forgoing an opportunity to take over Zagreb. Finally, Corsica makes peace with the Confederates, giving them both the chance to focus on more pressing targets.

Corsica is the first to back their words with nuclear weapons, making it very unlikely that they will get attacked now. Nukes are always a good thing to have.

Muspa falls, and to me it looks like the Cherokee military just sort of withered away. For a civ that had a very respectable military up until very shortly, it’s a shame that things have deteriorated this badly.

Poundmaker’s troubles continue as California (and the Cumans but they’re irrelevant) declares war. Los Angeles is firmly in the red, I see no way that the Cree can hold on to that city.

Ottawa flips and Los Angeles gets retaken by California. Meanwhile, a Caral army is marching on Concepcion. This really looks like it’s finally the end for the Cree.

Muspa is recaptured but it looks like it will flip back to the Caral real soon. It’s still a shame that the Cherokee can’t hold on to their cities anymore.

Muspa gets captured back to the Caral and Ottawa flips, but the real important thing this turn is Cornwall putting a citadel on this island. The first person to explain how this helps in any way wins a cookie.

Zagreb finally falls, and with that Croatia is eliminated in 10th place. The first civ in the top 10, they existed very well, defending themselves appropriately. However them giving away cities in peace deals and their inability to expand more has made it only a matter of time before a stronger civ would gobble them up.

Ouje-Bougoumou falls to California. Poundmaker thought that one city would allow him to sit out the rest of the game, but California (and a whole boatload of other civs) decided otherwise. It did have some effect, since it propelled him to 9th place. Before his fall, he had some success expanding, but their military just kind of crumbled against the Cherokee.

California declares war on the Cherokee, putting yet more pressure on John Ross’ military to defend against California’s large military. It’s fairly outdated, sporting Riflemen when the best fielded is Infantry, but the Artillery will help immensely.

Concepcion falls to California. Their military hasn’t done much yet, but Kapawe No is in yellow health. It really shows how easy it’s starting to get to capture cities in these eras.

A turn later, Kapawe No falls.

Cornwall stirs yet again, as Gwendolen declares war on Jefferson Davis. The Confederate army is large but outdated, while the Cornish army is larger and not outdated. I think Gwendolen can punch through Richmond quite easily.

And there goes Richmond, eliminating Jefferson Davis in 8th place. They did reasonably well at the start, but the pressure of Corsica and Cornwall was too big to bear. After that they existed as a heavily militarized citystate until their lack of manufacturing power and technological development put them behind enough for Cornwall to eat them.

Ching Shi is the second civ to develop the Manhattan project, no doubt to soften up faraway cities before raiding them with her well-sized piles of Junks. With my knowledge of the AI, nukes make for a very good deterrent against other AI, which is needed because Cornwall exists.

Concepcion gets captured again, causing William B. Ide to quickly peace out. It’s a shame since he could probably take out the Cherokee singlehandedly, but I’m not calling the shots here.

Corsica won’t look a gift city in the mouth and eats up Concepcion. Maybe they will be the ones that unite the west and stand up to Cornwall?

After an uneventful few turns, Concepcion flips once.

The Caral are the next civ to complete the Manhattan Project, pushing onto Sipiwininiwak with their modernized army. Seriously, they went from Riflemen to Infantry in like 20 turns. Must be Deity cheats.

Caral captures Sipiwininiwak, leaving the Cherokee with just their own settled cities. It doesn’t look like the Caral have the army to mush through immediately, so John Ross has a few turns to rest and prepare before the Caral and Corsican hordes come.

Caral peaces out with John Ross, grabbing New Echota for the effort in the peace deal. This has been a great war for Qhapac, with plenty of cities conquered.

Cornwall hosts the World’s Fair, with the “How to conquer the Caral in three easy steps”-pavillion drawing the most attention. The Caral delegation was confused until it turned out that…

...Cornwall did declare war, and did make some good progress on step 1 of the plan: "Take their cities."

They took Santiago de Cuba and got Caral (the city) to flip, probably causing Caral (the civ) to flip out as well.

Pictured: Caral flipping once more.

Caral flips once more while Sarkel starts to take damage.

Both Sarkel and Caral flip this time, in this turn’s shocking development.

And in an actually shocking development, both cities stay Cornish for this turn. Sarkel is pretty secure, but Caral itself will probably flip a few more times.

In another war, Concepcion gets recaptured by the Cherokee again.

Aspero flips once before being taken by Cornwall. More surprisingly, Ottawa is captured by the Cornish fleet present. They don’t have much to hold the city with but any distraction to the Caral is welcome.

Corsica retakes Concepcion again, while the Caral retake Ottawa. The Cherokee-Corsica war is such a sideshow right now, I have no idea why it hasn’t ended yet seeing as both parties can’t really get to each other.

Escampaha flips and Ottawa is retaken. It’s mostly a slog through unfavourable terrain right now for Gwendolen’s troops, but once they’re past Escampaha and the former Cypriot lands the terrain really opens up, giving them plenty of chances to blitzkrieg away.

Escampaha probably will stay Cornish this war, but Nicosia has flipped, letting the Caral hold it one more turn.

And there we go, Nicosia has been captured. We should be seeing the end of the Caral very soon, with most of their remaining cities in badly defensible terrain and the Cornish army entering said terrain.

Cornwall peaces out with the Caral. That reminds me, I forgot about telling you the second step. It’s a long and complicated step, but the gist of it is “Take all possible cities in a peace deal”. The third step? That's simply "Profit".

This does mean that Cornwall kind of reigns supreme at this point. I’m certain that even every other civ combined couldn’t touch a Cornwall with a carpet.

John Ross is the latest to complete the Manhattan Project, but Corsica is at the Cherokee doorsteps. I’m afraid it’s too late for nukes as far as the Cherokee are concerned.

Cornwall and California are the last civs not called the Cumans to complete the Manhattan Project. It’s surprising that Gwendolen hasn’t managed to get nukes until now, I thought they’d be one of the first.

After quite a few turns of absolutely nothing, Ching Shi declares war on the Cherokee, just as Corsica Mobile SAMs Tahlequah to death.

The Pirates take Chota, eliminating John Ross of the Cherokee in 7th place. The Cherokee did well, capturing quite a few cities, until the Caral, California and Corsica all attacked them and they couldn’t handle the pressure anymore. They looked like they could be one of the civs that could stand up against Cornwall for a while.

Unfortunately I forgot to make a screenshot of this monumental event, so we'll have to make do with this artist's impression.

And with that there’s no more wars. If this persists until turn 400, I’ll declare World War. If something major does happen, you’ll see it in the next screenshot.

A war between the Caral and the Cumans doesn’t count OK this screenshot doesn’t exist I’m not going to delay World War for this shit.

Okay so with Pasquale Paoli declaring war on the Cumans, something might actually happen. That something probably being Konchak dying.

And there goes Konchak of Cumania, the worst AI this game. Seriously, between not being able to expand, giving away your second city in a peace deal with a civ that never reached you, fighting a war and then peacing out the turn that they were able to capture a city, the idiocy never really stopped. They just got small enough for it to not matter. The only reason they placed 6th is because nobody cared to invade them until now.

World War is still on for turn 400 by the way.

Gwendolen joins the war against the Canton Pirates, capturing Tanasi that same turn. This makes Ching Shi’s situation very unmanagable, since the Cornish military was on her doorstep the whole time.

New Enchota and Tanasi get captured while on the other continent Indrapura and Macao flip.

Cornwall captures Indrapura and Macau, showing that Gwendolen can push in the Canton Pirates as expected.

After a few turns of flipping the aforementioned cities, with Corsica in the west and Cornwall in the east, Canton gets captured by Cornish combatants. This will surely spell the end of Ching Shi being of much relevance again.

And with Canton and Hong Kong being taken over by Gwendolen and the Cantonese army pushed away, this is what remains of Ching Shi’s formerly pretty decent empire.

A few turns later and this is what the situation looks like. Corsica doesn’t have the units nearby to decisively push out the Cantonese, yet the Pirates have the same problem. Pointless flipping is the result of this situation.

After ten turns, Tanasi finally gets captured by a lone Corsican regiment. To be perfectly fair, nothing much has happened so I’m thinking I’ll just move the World War down to turn 410 to account for the Cantonese-Cornish-Corsican War being worth something for a few turns.

There we go, after a few turns of not having any units that can capture cities nearby, Corsica finally captures Larnaca, ending the hopes of Ching Shi of ever winning, with the Canton Pirates coming in at 5th place. They played well, they survived, capturing cities whenever opportune. When tey ran out of good targets, they started building a massive carpet. Only when the Corsicans attacked did Cornwall feel safe enough to attack the Pirates themselves, which ultimately spelled the end for them.

And with that, no more wars are going on. World War’s in 15 turns, I’ll see you on the other side.

Or not, as Gwendolen declared war on Pasquale Paoli. If anyone has any chance of taking out Cornwall, it’s him. However, I’m afraid that boat has sailed about 200 turns ago.

The war itself starts off fairly neutral, with Gwendolen trading Sipiwininiwak for Cumanie.

A quick, final burst of statistics to create some order in the chaos of contemporary virtual future warfare simulations. Interestingly, it’s California that has a military that’s almost equal to Cornwalls. Corsica is quite a bit behind and the Caral just exist, unable to even get close to any other civ.

A few turns have passed, and except for Falmouth falling, it looks like Corsica is firmly on the defensive, with Cornish troops fighting in their lands and Concepcion being captured.

Five turns later and it shows that the Corsicans are on the back foot. Ajacciu has been captured and secured, Falmouth is in Cornish hands this turn and the Corsican cities in former Chile and Croatia have been secured as well, with only the Corsican navy being able to flip them.

Another five turns have passed, and Corti has changed hands, although the Cornish hold on it is shaky at best. Cornish troops have also advanced in the west, capturing Tahlequah. Nearly all of the Corsican core has fallen to Gwendolen’s troops. This is the end of Corsica, a civ that I thought would be the one to stand up against Cornwall.

Yet another five turns pass. California delivers the final punch, declaring war on what’s left of Corsica. Everything else has been captured by Cornwall.

The very next turn, Tanasi gets captured by a Cornish Nanohive, eliminating Pasquale Paoli of Corsica in 4th place. Both me and the Strawpoll saw Corsica as the Chosen One, the one that was supposed to bring balance to the game, not leave it in beige-yellowness. However, while they expanded fairly well, they never took any chance to knock down their rival, ending up with said rival blobbing harder than they did and knocking them out. California was just the cherry on top. Nonetheless, they played well and definitely deserve to be in the top 5.

In case nothing happens, World War is on turn 440. I’ll see you there.

We interrupt our waiting with the Caral getting owned by Cornwall. It’s a miracle that they survived this long.

The next turn Limassol falls, eliminating Qhapaq of the Caral in 3rd place. They started slow, fighting their wars well but not really capturing much. When the Caral train started building up steam in the west Cornwall stepped in to very quickly derail that train. After losing all but one of their cities, the Caral existed for a while before dying.

Turn 440 it is again, if neither of the two surviving civs don’t have any ideas.

It’s turn 440, time for some World War. Although can it really be called World War if there’s just two civs left? In any case, here’s the Californian core, nicely carpeted and all. It’s just carpeted enough that there may just be some hope that California can pull off a surprise upset.

Clatsop and Zagreb have been captured by Cornish soldiers, closing off two out of four fronts in this war. California’s core army has been holding on reasonably well considering the odds, with only Kapawe No and Los Angeles flipping once.

Cornwall has won according to the game by flipping Sacramento, but for us it’s not over until the bear has been shot. You can really see how much the Californian military has been ground down, although they have had some slight success locally, holding onto Ottawa for a turn or two.

Cornwall and California make peace, California giving away its cities. Yeah, let’s not care about that shall we?

Also, Cornwall built the ISS alone. It’s kind of silly naming something international when there’s only 1 nation left.

And there we have it, California’s last city has been captured, leaving them coming in 2nd place. This is the Punic strategy done right. California attacked targets of opportunity, carpeting up like crazy in the meantime. Unlike Carthage however, they made saner decisions and didn’t get their behinds kicked in by literally everyone. This did not save them from Cornwall however, as their carefully built military got ground down.

And this leaves Cornwall as the winner of the Cth Alpha-Battle. Unlike nearly everyone else, they kept expanding and attacking. They took risks, but nobody capitalized on the weaknesses they showed when taking these risks. Eventually, them winning became a foregone conclusion, with them slowly getting stronger, slowly eliminating their rivals one by one until nobody was left to stop them. They played extremely well and deserve the win here.

And that leaves me to say the final words. This is actually my first time actually posting an AI game. I feel like I could’ve done things a bit better (especially China’s position, but it did work out in the test games I did), but all in all I’m happy with the shenanigans that occurred.

PiGreat will take over for the next Alpha-Battle, I’m certain it will DEFinitely entertain.