MEIOU&Taxes 2.0 Brittany AAR/Mod Showcase -- Part 20: Heretics Everywhere

This meme sums up this part pretty nicely.

Welcome back to my shitty Brittany AAR. First of all, I've got something important to tell y'all: this AAR will probably only have 2-3 more parts after this one. Why? Well, three reasons. It has been a half a year already and I think that's enough. Second, the next big patch for M&T will not be save-compatible. Third, I simply won't have time as my schedule will be heck of a lot more busy.

So, this is the last part where I'll get into detail and cover every single interesting event. The next parts will be different, as I'll try to summarize the events of a century or so.

I'm telling you this so you can truly appreciate this part, if you like this excruciatingly slow pace that the AAR has had until now. This is the last time you'll see it.

Oh and also my country celebrated 100 years of independence on the sixth of december, but I saw enough popular posts on reddit that I won't bother you with more nationalist nonsense. You've probably seen enough.

Soon after loading the save these pop-ups appear. With high piety, you can go purge heretics with your army. Sweet.

The dumb ages system has been removed in M&T, but this thing still appears for some reason. It means jack shit so don't worry if you see it.

As you might've noticed, the King of Portugal has abandoned Rome and embraced heresy. This strains the relations between Portugal and catholic Spain, who are allies.

Note how Lisbon is a major center of trade.

Like I said in the last part, I've installed the HRE bandaid fixes submod. The mod has three main features: If the HRE is attacked by outsiders, the Emperor can ask the princes for help, large nations within HRE can fragment due to low legitimacy/devotion/RT to prevent blobbing and the HRE is more aggressive in claiming rightful HRE clay.

All these features can be turned off, so if you want to install the mod and disable all its features, go ahead, weirdo.

Link: https://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/index.php?threads/submod-hre-bandaid-fixes.1039924/

The missionaries from Nantes have apparently finished their work or something as I can restart the mission.

Here you can see how used missionaries are reduced from your base value, meaning if it says 3/3 that doesn't mean all of your missionaries are molesting children out of boredom and idleness.

Your own provinces with missionaries will get this province modifier. It's a cute icon.

O H F U C K

Spain declares war on their rival, France. The latter calls its faithful old ally to arms, not knowing how they're not very faithful anymore.

Charles has a tough choice to make, but ultimately after many days of pondering he refuses the call and abandons the alliance with the Visconti of France. He wishes to avoid war, for to him, it is nothing but a cancer of mankind... unless the goal of the war is to purge heretics.

King Louis is outraged, unaware of the deterioration of the relationship between Nantes and Paris. To him, Charles is a disgusting traitor who will pay dearly for his mistake.

The event spam begins as the Pope excommunicates literally everyone. Well, everyone who has converted to heresy. The King of Scotland is one such person, and Charles shuns him and cuts off all diplomatic relations.

Fucking shit every 5 minutes there's 1-3 events about the Pope excommuncating someone, send help

THE JEWS ARE TAKING OVER

some christians in Strassburg get sick of this reformation crap and say "fuck it, let's become jews so we don't have to deal with this shit"

France allied with Rome, so the Pope comes to Louis' aid.

Spain has an absolutely massive army that could crush the puny forces of France with ease, but the genius AI decides to split the armies and put them far apart.

For some inexplicable reason the AI splits their army and starts sieging forts with the stronger host and chasing after the French with the weaker small army. I just... I don't understand. What the fuck are you doing? Crush their army first, THEN start sieging shit!

Oh, the muslims were happy indeed to receive christian missionaries. All of them are brutally slaughtered by an angry fanatical mob. Charles does not relent and sends a force of a thousand men to accompany more missionaries.

The nobles calm down after a while and get 6 loyalty, meaning that the whole annoying thing of "lose 5 loyalty and have the nobles become disloyal" can't happen again.

The French army, led by King Louis, besieges forts and castles across Spain and approaches Toledo, the capital of the enemy. Meanwhile King Enrique besieges Toulouse.

I now have the option of closing canonical courts so all bronies get justly executed instead of receiving milder punishments from the church, but I do not take it for that would be mean to the Pope, who is my best friend.

GREATER SWITZERLAND

The HRE mod does not work on pre-existing wars, but from now on everyone should think twice before declaring on Austria or any HRE member. Let's hope that reduces blobbing a little and prevents the Emperor nation from collapsing every single time.

Spain's small army can do little against the invaders as King Louis' forces lay siege to Toledo.

One of Charles' advisors recommends a painter to him, but he humbly refuses to hire him as self-portraits are a sign of Pride, a deadly sin for certain.

The rebel king of Tyrconnell has died and his heir has managed to unite the clans under one banner, the banner of Ireland. It is a momentous occasion. I've been waiting for this for a long time, as without me this wouldn't have happened.

As the clan federation has reformed into a proper feudal state, whose ruler has been recognized by the Pope, Brittany can now sign an alliance.

A marriage is arranged between members of house Blois and house Cairbre.

King Louis abandons the siege and marches east, perhaps to face his rival King in battle. That'd be awesome, meaning it probably won't happen. Because fuck you, that's why.

Told you so. Louis turns back and Enrique continues to siege Toulouse.

*snif* Shut uo, it's not a tear, it's liquid pride.

Criomhtann is crowned the High King of Ireland, above all Irish petty kings and the superior of all clans.

Sinne Fianna Fáil,
atá faoi gheall ag Éirinn,
Buíon dár slua
thar toinn do ráinig chugainn,
Faoi mhóid bheith saor
Seantír ár sinsear feasta,
Ní fhágfar faoin tíorán ná faoin tráill.
Anocht a théam sa bhearna baoil,
Le gean ar Ghaeil, chun báis nó saoil,
Le gunna scréach faoi lámhach na bpiléar,
Seo libh canaídh amhrán na bhfiann

Toulouse falls, and King Louis returns. Could this be it? The ultimate battle between two rival kings, both fearsome warriors leading huge armies into apocalypic battle of epic proportions?

no fuck you i already said it won't happen. the french are moving west and the spaniards are moving east, the completely opposite direction.

Now that the university of Nantes has been founded, many intellectuals and artists flock to it, bringing culture and civilization along with them. The university of Angers has been abandoned by numerous famous people.

I'm sure Anjou won't be salty about it.

I'm kinda surprised this happened, so I check the province interaction menu. Here's a breakdown of all the sources of art power. Not sure what it means by outside students as the city has no foreigners studying there.

King Louis besieges Toledo again.

King Enrique besieges several populous provinces in southern France. You know, defeating their army (which is horribly outdated anyways) would give you heck of a lot more warscore than sieging random stuff. No? You don't care? Okay, fuck you.

Sigh. Fucking AI.

The new Pope's authority is in the shitter as he is corrupt and leading a church that is losing hundreds of thousands of members to heresy.

Religious tensions increase in Ireland and in Northern Ireland riots break out between Catholics and Protestants. Éire is infested with heretic scum. I hope the new High King can deal with them all.

Haven't mentioned it yet but Iceland has been occupied by humanist heretics for 150 years now. More than 10% of the populace is up in arms, and the King of Norway does nothing about them.

The blue taint of Marksism spreads ever further...

Better dead than blue, that's what I say.

The old ally of Ottomans and the second most powerful beylik, Erzincan, has been annexed by the new Turkish Empire. The turks have gained many large and wealthy cities as a reward.

Toledo falls to the French, yet King Enrique continues to do some dumb shit in France.

I'm starting to regret breaking that alliance. The Spaniards are bloody idiots.

See that big Spanish army? The army that is much larger and better than the French one? The army that could defeat it easily, retake Toledo and march to Paris? Yeah, see how far fucking away it is?

[rips dick off and throws it to space]

Well at least the house of Trastamara likes me a lot thanks to a pleasant visit recently.

Spain spends about a month besieging the Papal holdings in France to force them out of the war. As if that is an important thing to do, as Rome had lost all its soldiers already.

A while later Enrique shrugs and says "welp, I guess all those thousands of people died for nothing. Oh well, let's hope we have better luck next time". A treaty of Status Quo Ante Bellum is signed as King Louis fears the fall of Paris.

France becomes Brittany's bitter rival from this point on. Many factors were already leading to this, such as trade competition in the Bay of Biscay, disputes over Aunis and Constentin and the free blowjobs Spain gave to Brittany while France gave nothing. Now it finally happened. May God be on our side, Charles prays.

Now that the old foes of Brittany and Burgundy share an enemy, France, and an ally, Spain, the relations between them improve rapidly. Baguette expansionism must be curbed at any cost.

The Queen of the North converts to Marksism and makes it the state religion. Many monasteries are looted bare as monastic tradition comes to an end and all church land is seized for the state. Catholic North Germans and Finns are forced to accept this turn of events.

Charles' son Charles becomes hateful of heretics and grows even more zealous than his father. The heretic must be purged, whether is is a man, woman or a child. The antichrist's plots must be stopped, no matter how much innocent blood must be paid for it.

Piracy explodes in the Bay of Biscay, as France's enemies encourage privateers to seize the cargo of French merchants. But the pirates do not recognize the difference between French and Breton ships as the crewmen of both speak French, and thus many Breton merchants lose their valuable cargo.

Prince Charles knows his duty and begins building a new military vessel to protect traders from cruel corsairs and Danish neo-vikings. It is his duty to protect his subjects.

Wealthy burghers across Brittany demand rights and more power in the Estates and the Parliament. Charles gives them what they want, annoying nobles and the clergy in the process.

Charles, the son of Charles, is formally introduced to foreign delegates and the princely court.

A public event is held in La Rochelle where the Breton Inquisition executed about a hundred convicted unrepentant heretics and burned many hundred more effigies. Charles was there personally, a tear flowing down his cheek as he watched the glorious spectacle.

Fun fact: as you can read in the event text, historical inquisitions were less brutal than you think. Still pretty brutal though, but that's just the early modern age for you.

Wait, unrest in Aunis?

oh fuk more heretics

Well good that we burned a bunch of them

Missionaries are immediately sent to deal with the problem of heresy. We need to burn more.

More casus bellis against heretics... wait, what countries am I seeing?!

ALBRET? IRELAND? WHAT THE FUCK?

BETRAYAAAAAAAL!!!!

The High King of Ireland officially converts to marksism and abandons Rome. Charles is shocked to hear the news and is extremely disappointed in Criomhthann, who gave in to heretic pressure.

Here's the effects of protestantism, by the way. They're pretty good. Also, protestant (and other heretics) churches can choose various religious laws such as whether divorce is allowed or if people are baptized as babies or adults, all of which give various minor effects. I might cover that system in more detail in the future.

H E R E T I C S E V E R Y W H E R E

The recently formed alliance between Brittany and Ireland is in tatters and Charles denounces the Irish High King. Criomhthann is furious and calls Charles a traitor that ruined an age old alliance forged in fire and blood. Charles calls him a traitor and says he ruined the alliance. In short, they both hate each other now.

All the work I did to make Ireland great again... all for nothing.

O H S H I T

LEAGUE TIME BITCHES

The protestant league is going strong with many members already, but Austria is pretty big and strong. Too bad the recent wars have utterly raped and weakened it, possibly beyond recovery.

In Dei Gratia, it's not possible to join a league before the first war has happened. This simulates history, where nations outside the HRE only got involved later on.

The count of Albret, who is also called Charles, has abandoned catholicism as well. And so the alliance is dissolved.

Count Charles is shocked and saddened by their best friend abandoning them. His father even named him after the former Breton Duke. Prince Charles doesn't give a fuck.

Spain has begun colonizing the African coast as well, but it'll take them a long time to catch up to me. By that time, all the valuable trade post provinces should be mine.

African villagers on the cape verde peninsula have converted to catholicism in large numbers after a recent disease outbreak. Charles is pleased to hear the news.

In the small town of Glatz, heretic German princes have gathered and formed an alliance aimed at turning the Holy Roman Empire into a marksist state. In response, the Habsburg Emperor Albrecht has formed a Catholic League to keep the vile heretics at bay. Tensions are growing rapidly and war is inevitable.

Charles sends some men and cash to the Emperor, assuring him that God is on their side.

idea group time

After some thinking, I decide to adopt the naval quality idea group. Let's make Breton ships even more OP, shall we?

Mikael de Montfort is killed by a pirate as his merchant ship is attacked by corsairs. The privateer scum must be stopped, for they care not if their victim is French or Breton.

Renaissance is spreading quickly to Brittany, with Nantes having already embraced it.

However, the cost for embracing the institution is far too great at this point. More waiting is needed.

The Duke of Burgundy offers an alliance to its old enemy. The hatchet is buried and a treaty is signed in Rennes. The Nantes-Toledo-Paris axis has just been replaced by Nantes-Toledo-Brugge axis.

The alliance is further strengthened by a dynastic marriage.

The new heavy ship has been finished and is christened... well, guess what that name means in english.

The two heavy ships are immediately sent to hunt down privateers and sink them as soon as they see them.

The same order is temporarily given to the light ship fleet.

This scares the heretical Danish bastards who immediately abandon piracy. The operation has been successful.

The High King of Ireland has been excommunicated, and Charles fully cuts off any remaining relations between Ireland and Brittany.

Port Charles is becoming an important stopping point for ships coming to the Bay of Biscay from the African coast. For that reason the merchant request Charles to support their plans to expand the port, and the Prince happily obliges.

Friendship ended with ALBRET. Now BURGUNDY is my best friend.

King Enrique dies and is succeeded by Felipe, third of his name. In an alternate reality, Enrique died without an heir and bequeathed Spain to Charles, leading to a succession war between me, Spain and Burgundy against France, Papal States and Scotland. It was a war of epic proportions, with me barely avoiding getting stackwiped, the Burgundians fighting bravely against a french army with 40k troops and the Spanish refusing to fight because of high liberty desire...

But that alternate reality ceased to exist when I opened the trade map mode at one point and the game crashed suddenly.

oh

famine in africa

how awkward

Marksism spreads in Spain and Hungary. In Denmark, North Germans and Finns refuse to convert.

Cape Verde is fully colonized and the trade post is online. It'll take a while for the game to properly set up the province.

Seems like the second attempt at converting people in Cayor was successful. Let's try again, then.

Ndar is fully colonized as well. Time to send the colonists to new locations.

The first colonist is sent to the last valuable trade post province in the region, Bawol. It is a river estuary province and thus important.

The percentage of marksists in Nantes reached 30%, but thanks to my missionaries it is reduced back to 20%. Good, the heretic scum are kept at bay.

The second colonist is sent to Elmina, which historically was an important trade post for Portugal.

The education level keeps growing quick, even if my funding remains low. That might be because the church is investing more into education because of my high church influence.

cHrIsTiAnItY wAs ReSpOnSiBlE fOr ThE dArK aGeS *tips fedora*

nigga, the church was literally the only institution doing any proper education at all in the middle ages

France upgrades and builds a bunch of forts, taking the changed political landscape into account.

Hey idiots, this separatism thing is irrelevant now, should've revolted earlier.

Religious tensions end up leading Denmark into deep instability.

Don't do heresy, kids

Anjou is salty about losing its center of art and intellect to me and sends a formal insult.

The Pope thanks me for converting pagans and heretics and keeping the Church strong.

In fact, Gorée is majority catholic, even after Dei Gratia did its thing. That's pretty impressive.

Ndar has much less catholics, on the other hand. Also that trade power penalty from the trade company demanding me to go to war against Jolof and their strong ally of Mali.

Gorée is an ahistorical name for this province, as the name is a bastardization of the name Dutch gave, Goeree or something. Originally the island where the Portuguese settled was called Bezeguiche, which was the name of some local chief.

Historical Saint-Louis is called Saint-Charles in this timeline. The merchants honour the beatified former Duke of Brittany by naming their factory after him.

A bishop is appointed to lead the new diocese, the first one in Sub-Saharan Africa, and proves to be effective and talented.

yay, a modifier which does apparently nothing at all

This image triggers people from modern Ireland and Northern Ireland.

Because Brittany is now more threatened than ever, thanks to heretics everywhere and the broken alliances, the army is expanded. For the first time, an artillery corps is formed.

A quick note, these larger coastal provinces on African coasts cannot be colonized until more advanced technology. They're pretty worthless anyways so it's not a big loss.

WHOAAAH

1618 comes early as the new leader of the protestant league, the Gryf family of Stettin, declares war on the Emperor. This conflict will decide the fate of the Empire.

Pretty soon the Catholic League is in big trouble. This does not bode well.

Charles sends more support to the Emperor and prays for God to aid him.

Witch hunts begin in the county of Aunis, which bothers Charles. While he has no problem with proud and unrepentant heretics being treated roughly, alleged "witches" who are likely innocent women and men being lynched feels wrong. And so he discourages the practice, which leads to riots.

Fun fact: witch hunts were rare in the middle ages, most of them occuring in the early modern age. My own country had a fair number of them in the 1500s-1700s.

A battle is won by the Catholics, but many catholic cities and towns have already fallen. Is this enough to turn the tide?

Charles, after some consideration and consultation with his religious advisors, passes the Witchcraft act, which bans witch trials entirely.

This does cost some piety, but also prevents the witch hunt event from happening.

The Livonian Order, one of the most zealous christian warriors, convert to marksism as well. Poland, Italy and France, so far, are mostly free of heresy.

The war goes poorly for the catholic league, as Stettin's technological advantage allows them to win many battles and sieges.

Charles considers war with Ireland, forcing them to turn back to Catholicism.

However, he decides to wait a little longer and orders the construction of more transports for the now larger army.

This ends up being a dumb mistake on my part. There was absolutely nothing preventing me from declaring war, as I could've just shipped two thirds of the army first and the rest later.

Well, there is one thing: the royal marriage, which would give a stability hit. But losing stability wouldn't be too bad as I have 2.

Vienna falls yet again, this time to the heretics of Stettin.

The Emperor is forced to sue for peace, with many allies having already signed separate peace treaties. Austria pays war reparations and converts to Marksism.

The remaining catholic princes refuse to acknowledge Albrecht as Emperor and elect the ruler of Jülich, Wilhelm II.

Following the crippling defeat of the catholics, Spain announces its support for the Catholic League.

Charles is deeply shocked by the news of defeat to the heretics, and considers joining the League as well. He refuses to believe that God abandoned Albrecht and instead gave victory to heretic scum.

And so it is done.

France, a devoutly catholic kingdom, announces its support for the Protestant league. Mostly for political reasons and to lessen the influence of Spain on European politics.

Charles is absolutely disgusted and does not regret abandoning the alliance with them one bit.

But suddenly, the league war mechanic is disabled. Not sure what is going on.

Oh great, that should deal with the heretic problem.

News of a new plague pandemic make Charles convinced that God is furious and the End Days are coming. Isaak Marks is clearly the Antichrist of the Revelations.

Took me a while to find where the plague spawned, but here's one location, in in the mouth of the Nile.

Another spawn is in York, albeit somewhat weak.

Charles knows how important it is to delegate as a ruler and relies greatly on his wide array of advisors, one of the most reliable ones being Vougay, the head of the Inquisition.

I take a look at the event log and see that something interesting is going on. This seems to be the vote that the M&T wiki talked about.

A famine strikes Denmark, as internal instability hurts trade and agriculture and leads to increased food prices. Finland suffers the most, having devastating famines, while wealthy North Germans are better off.

Wow, what a great way to celebrate a 100-years old Finland, M&T. Thank you.

Charles laughs joyously when he hears of plague and famine punishing heretic scum. He prays long for the catholics living in those countries, though, as it was not their fault that their rulers abandoned God.

Tunisian Egypt suffers even with the Mamluks mostly gone. Seems like there's a curse of something in the area. Did someone raid an ancient tomb of a pharaoh or something?

Charles governmental reforms, aimed at improving the well being of his subjects, end up making them think he's ruining things. He spends a fortune trying to rectify the situation and telling people his changes were good, not bad.

Plague spawns in Moscow as well. Poor Muscovy, is it becoming the Bohemia and Mamluks of the East?

At the Diet of Merseburg, a peace treaty is signed between Protestants and Catholics. Now, each member state had the right to choose which religion they wanted.

The heretic princes are furious as they were victorious and had the right to impose their faith on the Empire, but the Gryf Duke of Stettin wants to avoid religious conflict at all costs, lest it draws in outside powers like France and Spain. In his nightmares, he sees a war that lasts for thirty years, with countless millions perishing in the flames of war... that shall not come to pass.

It is an odd compromise, but good enough for all but the most zealous princes. Charles is unhappy about this heretical tolerance thing, but at least this means the Empire won't become a Marksist nation. But now HRE is more divided than ever...

Missionaries trying to convert natives around the new trade post are attacked by angry tribesmen, who continue to besiege, pillage and burn the small wooden fort that was recently constructed.

The new port in Port Charles has finished construction, and... it's basically useless as Nantes is too far away. Drat.

Oh well, there was an attempt.

War in the East! The Turks are invading the rump state of Bulgaria, and Hungary has come to their aid.

The plague hits Burgundy somewhat badly, but is weaker elsewhere.

Italian cities take a big hit for once, but it's not as bad as it could be.

Andalusia and North Africa are hit by the plague as well, but the countryside suffers only from mild outbreaks.

The protestant Irish arranged a divorce, which they could do fairly easily in their own church. All ties between Ireland and Brittany have been severed.

But I've lost the casus belli, for some reason. Maybe because I lost 5 piety and I needed it to unlock it? I dunno.

Told you I made a mistake by not declaring war as soon as I could.

Rome, who see Brittany as an examplary Catholic nation, offer an alliance. Without any relation improvement, their opinion of me is +200, so I'm not surprised they did this.

The Pope is still allied with France though, and I hope that won't lead to big trouble.

The missionaries in Aunis are successful as heretics abandon their foolish ways, admit their crimes and repent. Or burn.

Claude de Dodieu dies of the plague after he visited and comforted plague victims. Charles looks for a successor, wanting to find a pious man as zealous as Claude. Bernardin Bochetel ends up being appointed as the new Bishop.

Aside from Bro Gernev, Brittany only suffers mildly from the plague. Clearly God has shielded his faithful followers from this punishments aimed at heretics.

what the fuck is going on why are there plagues everywhere all of a sudden holy shit

God turns his attention to the Baltics, and sends a famine to the Livonian Order, who thought they were blessed by Him to be safe from the plague.

Belgrade falls to the Turks and Serbia is fully occupied. Accordions are burned en masse. Kebab is unstoppable.

Finnish nobles (who are mostly Swedish-speaking) and their subjects, still pious catholics, are outraged at their Danish Queen and her heresy. They feel like they're forced to suffer from the consequences of her foolishness and revolt openly, killing Danish administrators and guardsmen. Religious nationalism drives them forward.

A market place is being built in Bezeguiche, to facilitate trade with the heathen Africans.

The catholic administration of Brittany changes as the diocese of Nantes is elevated into an Archbishopric. Bernardin is appointed the archbishop of Nantes by Charles and another priest replaces him in Rennes. For now, Bernardin has to work in the old cathedral, as the new SUPERCATHEDRAL remains unfinished.

Also, Nantes is the largest city in Ouest France.

The number of modifiers is getting pretty fucking ridiculous at this point.

So far, some OPMs from the HRe have had holy wars, but then a holy war happens in Spain, where the country is divided by marksists and catholics! EXCITING!!! Except for some reason no heretic strongholds spawn and only a measly warband of 5000 peasants appears.

Sigh.

Now that Brittany has an Archbishopric, Charles asks for the Pope to appoint one of the Breton bishops as a cardinal.

Ireland has no need for me anymore, as they ally another protestant nation with historical ties to them, Norway. Mostly because they both hate Scotland.

The missionaries in Cayor have successfully baptized tens of thousands of pagans and heathens and converted them to catholicism. Immediately, the converts are oppressed by the other religious groups in the province.

Another missionary is sent to Constentin. The heretical movement there is weakened, but not eradicated. More work needs to be done.

Same thing in Jolof. Missionaries are sent to Waalo.

Riots break out across Brittany, protesting the spread of heresy, and Charles does nothing. Many heretics are stripped of rights and evicted, others converted and forced to repent.

For some reason Jolof gets pissed about this.

The climb of Bernardin continues as he becomes a cardinal and is sent to Rome. He is succeeded by François Hamon.

Later on Francois would compete in the 1960 olympics. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fran%C3%A7ois_Hamon

Hungary is overrun by heretics and muslims, HRE is almost fully Markist, Ireland IS fully Marksist, and heresy spreads rapidly in Milan.

The spread of heresy shows no signs of slowing down. Clearly, the apolcalypse is coming and Christianity is doomed. But already, the Pope is considering something radical. The best way to counter a Reformation, is, of course, a Counter-Reformation.

Tune in next time, which will hopefully be much less boring and only cover interesting events, thus also covering a longer span of time. See ya.