The Legend of Truck Part 1

Published: 2017-02-07

Part of the campaign:

The Legend of Truck

OUR HERO, TRUCK TRUCKERSON
Imbecile. Dwarf. Possessed. TRUCK TRUCKERSON has it all.

He is a Severian, because he's Severian people's asses on a silver platter, and he worships the sun because it's the one thing he can't fight.

I'm using the Shattered World mod, because it's the only way I see myself succeeding as a single county pagan in Adan (I chose a random province). Some say there were once kingdoms and empires, but TRUCK's emergence onto the world's stage threw everything into chaos.
THE CREST OF TRUCK
Yeah, you're seeing that right. Half eagle, half lion. Our enemies will tremble just from the sight of it.
Shockingly, there aren't many Severian Zunists in Arabia
Fortunately, TRUCK has to simply sacrifice a few gold coins to the aether and voila.
NEED WOMAN
More money to the dark gods of courtier generation.
TRUCK IS HUSBAND
It's a match made in heaven!
OH CRAP
The way the Shattered World mod dictates what characters own which provinces is based on the culture and religion of said province. Because Alexandria starts the game as Egyptian Miaphysite, that means that the game thinks they've conquered Alexandria, giving Miaphysites a Holy Order hundreds of years before anyone else. This means they have thousands of troops available while the other nations barely have hundreds.

Note to self: don't go west
We go west immediately
Most of the counties on the coast are Sunni, fortunately for us, so there shouldn't be a problem. In addition, Holy Orders are only free if the person who hires them is defending against infidels. So really, as long as I don't declare war on them, I should be okay.
Success!
We've conquered the first of many provinces. I think TRUCK made a satisfied grunt, although I can't really be sure.
The line is secure!
Our first child! TRUCK spends many days and nights in quiet reflection, before emerging with the perfect name.
MORE KIDS
TRUCKETTE just isn't ladylike.
TRUCK KEEPS TRUCKING
RIP PENSOIL. At least now it doesn't matter that I forgot the second N
SOMALIANS ARE WEAK
The game has only just started and already we've gained control of the Horn of Africa. With it, we've acquired enough land to create a Duchy, meaning I can finally parse out this land. TRUCK is many things, but a skilled Steward, he is not.
But before we do that, I'm going to explore a bit of the flavor stuff the Zunists enjoy. First off, let's let the almighty Zun determine the fate of our captives of war

The sun was not terribly merciful to our prisoners. It's a shock to everyone; Yemen is known throughout the world for its mild summers.
SUN FOR THE SUN GOD
In celebration of his conquests, TRUCK drools in the direction of one of the men in his court. They take it to mean that he wants to hold a festival of the sun.
Classic TRUCK
THE LAND OF FORD F150 IS BORN
Soon the world will know the wrath of TRUCK.

part 2: http://imgur.com/a/5GPvX

Next chapter:

Game: Crusader Kings II

The Legend of Truck Part 2: Heading East

Images: 24, author: City_of_Orphalese, published: 2017-02-07

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