MEIOU&Taxes 2.0 Brittany AAR/Mod Showcase -- Part 12: Purge the Heretics!

Haven't shown all of Yurop in a while, here it is in all its bordergory glory.

The last part had an exciting conclusion that left you craving for more: I built a fishing port in Brest (you know the drill about breast puns by now)! Now it's time for the thrilling continuation. Will fishermen catch fish or will the port be unused? Read on to find out!

First of all, I've been thinking about the future and decided that I need a port closer to Africa. Thankfully Portugal is our enemy and they have a neat province right here. Historically, a lot of famous explorers had their home base in this lagoon.

Not sure if it's in coring range, though. Not sure how to check that and I haven't bothered to google it yet. Also yes I know the CE will be shit.

Just in case we get another war against Portugal at some point, I mark the province as interesting. Because I'm sure I'll forget about the whole thing later on.

France has disputed succession and we have a royal marriage with them. However, the ruler is only 37 years old so I doubt there will be any succession shenanigans.

I clicked on France to check on details and saw this beautiful thing. Look at all that red. France is pouring ketchup on their future meals.

Aaaand there go our extremely generous subsidies. Bye, I'll be missing you.

One reason why I guaranteed Tyrconnell was the fact that they were desperately improving relations with me. They were like a small puppy looking at me with sad eyes. How could I not protect them?

Of course, they're an Irish Monarchy and therefore can't get alliances, royal marriages or vassalizations with anyone. But in return, the government type has some nice bonuses.

There's a way for Tyrconnell to reform and get a proper government and I'll cover that later in this part.

EXTRA THICC LITHUANIA

The funny thing is, this isn't ahistorical at all. What a powerhouse Lithuania used to be... now look at it. It's just potato memes, concrete blocks from the soviet era and ridiculously high suicide and homicide rates.

Recently Jane has considered formally supporting one of the catholic religious orders. She chooses to aid the Franciscans, whose voluntary poverty she admires, and lets them found a chapter in Bro Dreger, the most populous province of Brittany.

Many farmers in the province have made quite a profit from selling hemp, and the Franciscans love pestering them about their wealth. The less fortunate who had trouble getting land or a job in the overpopulated province sometimes joined the order, for they had nothing better to do with their miserable lives.

Personally i would've picked an order that gives a production efficiency bonus, as unrest and missionary strength are completely useless. Oh well, I gotta roleplay.

Bro Dreger is fucking huge now and it keeps growing. It's already half as populous as the modern-day Cotes de Armor department. That in turn fills our coffers with tax dosh.

The expansion of the navy continues: now Jane decides that to truly project their naval power they need ships to carry troops over the sea. Contracts are signed and Brittany will soon be able to invade places such as England and... well, England. We don't have other enemies overseas... yet.

oh gosh did i just use ellipses twice in one paragraph any respectable writer would've shot me for that

ah whatever who cares this is a crappy aar not a tome that wins me a nobel

After some nobles repeatedly complaining that the halls of the ducal castle were too bare, Jane finally gives in and hires an artist to decorate the walls.

This is one of those discount artists I got from an earlier event.

Suddenly this popup appears. I've never seen it, but it might still be a vanilla thing.

And there's the reason for that message appearing. Somehow Brandenburg is in a union with Wolgast. Prussiaboos mourn and shed a tear.

Interestingly their overlord became the elector instead. Does this mean that if I, as a HRE nation, vassalize or force into a union an elector, I get their right to vote? Dunno.

Yet another national idea unlocked as I continue unlocking all the naval ideas.

What you see in the left is English and Montfortian alt-history propaganda, pay it no heed

oh looks like I accidentally recruited Bosch

love his paintings and drawings, even more after seeing them in person. They're so full of insane detail that you can spend a long time looking at them.

However, Jane and her court feel the opposite: while Richard's painting is clearly supposed to show the horrors of hell, it does it in a rather extreme way. Not to mention that THERE IS NO TRANSPARENT GLAZE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS UTTER SHIT

Richard does not receive what he wished to receive, compliments, and is instead fired. However, someone else is interested in buying his painting: Loïc. He says the paintings are identical to the fever dreams he has.

The painting would remain in the hands of Loïc's family for centuries, before World War 3 happened. At that time, the Italian anarcho-syndicalists looted the place and took the work of art to Milan, where it was lost during the destructive siege by the South American Liberator Army.

FAMINES 100% CONFIRMED TO BE WORKING

OH YES

shut up it's not cheating i'm in trade map mode checking if famines really are working

More ships are built and the shipbuilding industry is thriving. Even a new caravel is commisioned.

A gentleman from Bro Wened wrote a novel some time ago for some nobles who were interested in his work. However, its popularity spread much farther than that and now it is being read not only in Nantes but even in the royal court of Paris.

The work, written both in Breton and French, is based on Louis and Loïc (although they have different names in the novel) and tells of their deeds during the recent wars. Loïc is a delusional yet victorious knight in shining armor who charges against watermills thinking they're leviathans, while Louis is his sarcastic sidekick with common sense. The book includes a lot of cultural references and discusses the relationship between Breton and French, as Louis is French while Loïc is a Breton.

Jane herself does not like the work as she feels like it misrepresents and even mocks her late husband and doesn't tell the truth about his military prowess. She also doesn't like the idea of fiction in general and thinks only religious texts are true literature. But the rest of Brittany is very fond of the tome, even though it sparks some conflict regarding what language should be used in the court.

OOPS i built the wrong kind of ship

how embarrasing

Bonus points to you if you noticed my error and was like "the fuck is the idiot blabbering about, he's building galleys not transports"

Loïc finally dies of a stroke, before getting to read the novel making fun of his mental illness. His last words were "Whatever the cost, don't let the lizardmen capture Hertz Keep". They were not put on his epitaph.

Few came to his funeral, as lunatics were shunned in the Middle Ages. He only got buried in a grave within church grounds because Jane demanded it, for he had served her faithfully for a long time.

Popes come and go. Not sure why I'm even showing these anymore.

Turns out Jane is a direct descendant of Julius Caesar himself! Well, not direct at all, and the documents don't seem too reliable, but hey, who cares about historical accuracy? It's 1434 for God's sake!

Jane apparently thinks she has inherited Caesar's military genius. Or, well, looking at the bonuses it looks like everyone else is convinced that she has inherited Caesar's military genius. Her army, her subjects and foreign dignitaries. She personally probably knows it's all bullshit.

Now here's something interesting I noticed. Foix is currently ruled by a regent from our dynasty, Berthe de Blois. But that's not all.

Castile is ALSO ruled by a female de Blois regent. Three female rulers of my dynasty sitting on thrones simultaneously. What a curious coincidence.

There we go, Louis has a daughter. However, that's not what Louis had hoped for...

(fuck i used the ellipsis again)

Meanwhile in the east the Emperor decides to declare war on Austria. The two seem fairly equal, but Bohemia has a whole load of vassals while Austria is a single unified state. Because of shit AI not consolidating Bohemia might lose.

The dispute about Aunis has increased tensions between Brittany and Aquitaine so greatly that war seems almost inevitable, and some fights have even broken out near the borders. But Guillaume knows that if he agrees to the demands of his subjects, then France will come to the aid of their ally and crush them. The old treaty where France guaranteed Aquitaine is long gone. So instead, he does something almost revolutionary: using diplomacy instead of war to solve a dispute. He suggests to Jane that the newly elected Pope could solve the problem and come up with a solution that pleases both parties. Jane agrees and sends a letter to Rome.

This is like two nations asking for UN to solve a dispute. And we all know how well that always goes.

For some time now there's been unrest in southern France, but now a full blown revolt has erupted. The populist heretics demand religious reforms, such as masses held in the common tongue instead of latin and inclusion of lay people in sacramental activity, and in general have anticlerical sentiment. The heresy has been in the region for a while now and have many nobles on their side.

The new Pope declared the movement a heresy recently, and now they have formed a huge army (of mostly poorly armed peasants) which is marching on Toulouse and other cities. Because the region is far away from the capital, the revolt came to King Louis almost as a complete surprise.

While Jane agrees that the church is in need of some reformation, using weapons to force change is unacceptable to her. Just in case, she raises her personal levies and readies the army.

Notto disu shitto agen...

See? I know all the nanime and gangamanga memes! All the young weeaboos will surely upvote this post thanks to that.

King Louis is not very pleased that he had to designate his daughter his heir, but he had no other option. His wife has not given birth to a single male over the years. He's so angry, in fact, that he wants a divorce. Because his wife is Jane's cousin, this would bring great shame to her house.

Jane sends a letter to the Pope again. Why solve your own problems if the Pope can solve them for you?

Disease spreads like wildfire in the poorly organized camps of the heretics. In both armies at the same time. Nevertheless, the sieges of Toulouse and Gavaudan continue.

I get military access from france, but apparently I can't get access from its vassals. Not sure if I've mentioned it before but you need decent relations for military access, and I'd have to suck the dicks of at least two vassals to get through. No thank you.

Jane decides to draft more holks for her navy, for future situations like this where the enemy can't be reached on land.

A priest in Saint-Malo has finished his work and has published it across Brittany. It was supposed to be released later, but news of a major religious revolt in southern France made the writer change his plans. The treatise shits on the Pope, the curia and corruption of the church. Some in court say the work should be banned and all copies burned, but Jane says no and the treatise ends up being popular abroad, especially in France and the Empire. It's the opposite of popular in Rome and the curia is not pleased, although the Pope sees some valid points in it.

The French have gathered their men and are now purging heretics. At gavaudan, no mercy is given and many prisoners of war are executed.

A letter arrives from Rome, regarding the tensions between us and Aquitaine. Pope suggests both sides to make sacrifices to avoid conflict. Jane does everything he asks, not caring for the opinions of his subjects or leaders of other countries.

why the fuck are you visiting hohenzollern

what narrative can i even come up with that can explain that

ah whatever

Jane's religiosity and piety has helped her find allies abroad and she is confident it will do so in the future. Any true catholic is her friend.

Before a letter from Rome can arrive, Louis already goes through with the divorce. This causes quite the shock not only in the court in Nantes but in other countries as well, who no longer respect the house of Blois as much as before.

Some Breton nobles demand a war with France, which would be possible to win with the aid of Castile, at least in their opinion. But Jane knows it'd be suicidal to break an alliance with such a powerful neighbour.

The relations with France have crumbled lately, and Jane knows something must be done. Aunis continues to cause a headache, but Jane is hesitant to let go of a valuable port province with productive salt marshes.

Jane suggests another marriage to Louis to mend their relations.

After some negotiations, Jane agrees to marry Louis' young nephew who has the same name as him. Also the same name Jane's previous husband had.

I'm sure Jane won't have any heartache from this.

Louis is not a bad person, not at all. He often donates his wealth to the church and the poor and is also a devout catholic. His administrative and diplomatic skills match those of Jane, but he is a peaceful soul who abhors war. In many ways, he's a more ideal partner for Jane than Louis of Bar, but she can't love him. She just can't. And not just because she's over thirty years older than him.

The new caravel of the Breton navy is christened Louis. Jane's current husband thinks it's a form of flattery, but Jane had decided to name it that long before she married him.

As the French army marches to Toulouse, the city falls. Only half of the exhausted heretic army remains after many months of brutal siege. Yet when the royal host arrives, they do not surrender and retain their will to fight.

When commander Amaury sees the black smoke rising from Toulouse, he tells his men to give no quarter to the enemy.

The heretics fight with almost fanatical frenzy at first, but when cannonballs begin tearing through men and turning them into fleshy puddles of blood, their morale begins to waver. Their light horsemen, many lesser nobles or peasants riding their work horses, are slaughtered by the fully armoured gendarmes. Their infantry is pushed back and eventually shattered. In two hours, the battle is over and the heretics scattered. Their bloodied remnants flee to the woods and the hills, where they will likely die of hunger or be hacked to death by peasants who are angry at their foraging (military term for organized robbery) during the siege of Toulouse.

All prisoners are killed before the walls, yet the small garrison of Toulouse does not surrender. Negotiations begin, and the French have only one offer: convert and atone for your sins or die.

The defenders choose the latter. Siegeworks begin to be built.

Sunni fanatics in the region of modern Syria? That's just unheard of.

Mamluk rape train keeps going.

Our transport fleet is ready for our next war with the Anglos. London shall burn.

Our capital has grown to 3 urban pops, and I haven't even built any buildings there recently! The saturation is getting pretty high though. A calamity can easily reduce the pop back to 2.

Toulouse falls after the winter, which was harsh on the populace. Food stores ran out and people first ate frogs, then rats, then horses, then shoes. Frogs were fine but after that it got nasty. About a quarter perished and many more are malnourished. Of the local wealth, barely any remains.

The heretics who surrendered are all killed in various ways. Their leader is hung, drawn and quartered and his officers (many of them nobles) burned at the stake, for example. Yet many heretics remain in the region, mixed among the local populace. After the local archbishop returns from his refuge, he immediately demands the Pope to send inquisitors.

But the Pope is busy with something else: war with the Ottomans. Although honestly they are unlikely to do much against them because of the distance and because the Ottos only want to seize Genoese trading posts along the coast.

Mamluk collapsed a long time ago, my friend.

A humanist scholar from Penthievre (a county in Brittany) is no longer considered a heretic. Jane herself had helped the inquisitors find him, but now she welcomed him to her court with open arms.

Charles, however, had already been offered a place at the royal court of Paris and wasn't exactly fond of Jane. He demanded a wagonload of money before even considering joining Jane's court.

2.61 monthly is half of my nation's monthly income. I just can't afford it, and I don't really need his bonuses anyways.

The regency of Queen-Mother Anne ends and Felipe II ascends to the throne. He's a pretty damn good ruler.

The city of Kaffa (not to be confused with Kappa) is the last genoese holdout on the black sea. Looks like it will not fall for quite a while, but no help is coming for them so failure is inevitable.

Speaking of failure, the amount of suffering the Mamluks have makes my life seem like a wonderful dream in comparison.

Bohemia's war with Austria is not going too well, so Hungary decides to join in and attack them. Poland helps Bohemia while Croatia and Bulgaria help Hungary.

I'm not sure if the Ottos will be able to defeat the mighty alliance of HungryBulgary. Then again, they're OP as fuck in M&T so they probably will.

Thank God for that! The old bitchy bishop is dead. His place has been taken by Guillaume Brillet, a man in love with the renaissance who has read many of the recently translated ancient texts.

That legitimacy penalty was a pain in the ass. Glad it's gone.

A FAMINE (almost) IN EUROPE

YAAAY

But it's a pretty pathetic one. I'm still waiting for a proper big famine. The fact that it took almost 100 years for me to even see a single famine means something is wrong somewhere. Might be because my save was transferred to a new version which isn't 100% save-compatible.

STOP

STOP

HE'S ALREADY DEAD

...

Haha, very funny.

The clan federations of Ireland aren't exactly the most stable realms around. The smaller alliance is torn by civil war as FitzGerald and its allies demand the Thomond king to abdicate.

Tyrconnell doesn't intervene and is content with observing the conflict.

M E C H A N I C E X P L A N A T I O N

As I promised, here are republic factions. There's three types, aristocrats, traders and guilds. Each of them give different bonuses and penalties, their strength being affected by the faction's influence, and additional bonuses if they're the leading faction. In the current version guilds are a bit weak if I remember right, so keep that in mind.

The table that list faction bonuses at different influence levels can be found at meiouandtaxes.wikia.com/wiki/Factions. They're pretty similar to bonuses a faction gives when it's the leading one.

Here are the trader bonuses. They're the leading faction in Novgorod so give these bonuses to them.

Here are aristocrat bonuses. As you can see, they reduce republican tradition. If RT gets low enough, there can be a coup and the republic will transform into a noble republic if I remember right, or even a monarchy.

And finally, guild bonuses. Note that they give +0,20 RT.

As you can see, the player can't influence influence (I couldn't resist writing that). Instead, there's a wide variety of factors affecting influence behind the scenes. They're not visible in game, I think, so it's another byzantine mechanic.

The wiki has detailed formulas for faction influence, but they're basically this:

Aristocrats gain influence from the number of upper class pop. They become influential if you expand a lot and take provinces with upper class pops.
Traders gain influence from capital urban pop, capital's trade wealth and national centres of trade. They tend to be the dominating faction for most republics.
Guilds gain influence from capital urban pop, capital's production wealth and national centres of centres of production.

Here's the coup d'etat disaster that can trigger at low RT.

The Ottos make peace early instead of invading Rome and burning it to the ground. They take a port and an island from the Genoese. Apparently Merchant republic trade posts stay in the province even after it's taken.

Banking is spreading to us at a nice rate.

Why am I showing you the institutions of the White Horde? Because it will be very relevant in an upcoming version. Why? Because Demiansky is back working on M&T and he's finishing TRIBES.

TRIBE HYPE WHOOOOO

Tribes are a new type of estate that will control underdeveloped provinces without legalism, which you can see in the screenshot. They will use 100% of their wealth on armies and won't waste time with dumb farm estates or urban buildings. All their units will be used for looting, then all the loot will be used on units, then all units will be used for looting...

This can make them terrifying steamrollers, but at the same time one failed war will make them angry as fuck and then you're basically dead.

Tribes, of course, aren't permanent. You can encourage and restrict them to investing in infra instead of units and once legalism spreads to their provinces they'll turn into nobles. You'll lose your horse hordes but at least you'll have some farm estates and cities.

I'm not 100% sure on details because the feature hasn't been released yet, but it will be. TRIBE HYPE!!! Also TIMUR HYPE!!! Because they can finally add him into the game once the tribes are in.

Because Poland-Lithuania didn't form in this timeline, Lithuania became orthodox. That certainly pleases their vassals Briansk and Smolensk.

Because our upper class pop has increased a little over the years, our education level has begun to drop.

Jane therefore increases donations to church schools and monasteries.

It's good to check your court, education and development levels every now and then because of this. Sometimes it can drop a level and you'll be like "huh? why the fuck did that just happen?"

Member timber? I almost didn't. Now that we are building a big navy this is relevant to us.

As you can see, we're at a timber defecit. I'm not sure what effect it has, but I think there's a modifier in the government tab that I forgot to check. It probably gives a penalty if you're lacking timber.

We can fix this by unlocking "sea hawks" idea (other ideas are available), which I am about to do. Then we can buy wood from rest of the continent. We could also found a state forest later on, and I'm seriously considering doing that.

Bohemia is having a bad time. Well, it could be worse. In my Poland game they were reduced to a city-state that survived only because I protected them (didn't want my rivals gobbling up such a wealthy and powerful province).

A student in Aunis was discovered fucking a horse and was brought to court. There, he tried to defend himself by saying the mare had totally given him consent and it wasn't really bestiality because horses are intelligent, social creatures. No one in court was impressed. His last resort was to demand to be trialed in the church court instead. Those accusing him didn't like that at all and have now sent a formal letter to their Count, Duchess Jane (medieval titles are confusing, just play CK2 to learn this).

Jane, of course, could piss off the Pope, but that just doesn't feel right. Besides, the boy is a student and technically under the authority of the church, not her or her judges.

Instead, she lets the boy be trialed in a church court. He is spared from a death sentence and is instead sent on a pilgrimage to Santiago after confessing his sins. This causes a bit of an outrage, but the Pope is pleased.

If that student had lived today, he would've become a brony.

The culture change mechanic in action!

"Good news, my Duchess The population..."
Literally unplayable

In recent years migration from Breton countryside to Nantes has increased, and from the city it has spread to rest of the province. Many still speak a French dialect, but those speaking it exclusively are now the minority. Most of the upper class in the province is among them, as well as Jane. Blois is a french dynasty, after all.

See? It's Breton now. What a neat mechanic.

If angevin had been an accepted culture, this probably wouldn't have happened yet. But I saw no reason to waste diplo in making them accepted as they only gave an unrest penalty.

The civil war in Thomond is over and FitzGerald is now the clan in charge.

EXPLORATION IDEAS HERE I COME

ONE MORE DIPLO TECH TO GO

I decided to rename Nantes accordingly. It now has the Breton name Naoned, and the province has the name Bro Naoned.

Yes, Bro basically means "land".

The Emperor must really regret declaring war on Austria. There go almost all the silesian vassals. The war against Hungary continues.

Jane proclaims formal welfare support for the poor and the last national idea is unlocked.

And that's where the name of the AAR comes from. Probably one of the most badass national mottos I've heard. The anthem is pretty cool too.

Well that's not worrisome at all.

OH GOD IT NEVER ENDS

New units! I already mentioned gendarmes earlier in this part and now we've unlocked them. Also all our units have a little bit of fire, thanks to the ever increasing use of firearms.

Brittany's army has adopted the french lance system. We'll now have lance infantry, who do not wield lances like the name implies. That'd just be unwieldy and silly.

Here's the new cavalry units. We'll of course use gendarmes.

Wow, Poland-Lithuania formed after all. I don't know which event triggered this or what its conditions are, but I would love to know. The only union trigger I know of requires a female leader ruling one of the countries, but I forgot to check who was ruling Poland. Maybe it's a different event or decision, I dunno.

Let's just say Polish nobles wanted the assistance of Lithuania in the current war and so accepted the rule of the Lithuanian Grand Duke, Zygimantas Gediminai.

Zygimantas. And then people say Finnish is a weird language. Bitch, ever heard of Lithuanian?

NO

MORE BORDERGORE

MAKE IT STOP

Here are the requirements for uniting Irish clans and getting rid of the shitty Irish monarchy government. I was surprised to see that almost all requirements are fulfilled, they even have the perfect amount of provinces. All Tyrconnell needs is a little bit more admin tech and the last English province.

Looks like we'll need to "convince" the last clan loyal to England to reconsider their loyalties.

shut up it's not cheating i just wanted to know how to help my irish friends

i don't even know what to write anymore

I'm fucking ill now. Look at that fucking blue tentacle. Look at those blue spots everywhere. Absolutely disgusting.

Now realizing they have to face the might of Lithuania, Hungary quickly makes peace with Bohemia. But the damage done to the Emperor has been big, especially because now the electors of HRE are considering electing the ruler of Milan after he dies.

As peace settles in the east war begins in the west. France's negotiations with Aquitaine have failed completely as they stubbornly refuse to cede land or bend the knee before their rightful lord. War is declared, and Aragon and Milan come to their aid. Now we must answer the call of France and assist them.

I fucking love cliffhangers, by the way.