Groundhog Day Mk. X - Round 5

Welcome back, at long last, to Groundhog Day Mk. 10! There's been a really long hiatus because I've been in New Zealand, and I still am in New Zealand, but I've got a couple days with decent internet right now so I figured I'd push out this episode. If we think waaaay back to round 4, we might recall that Switzerland won (how out of character!). Now, we start again to see who rises to the challenge this time.

The second cities go out, and it seems that the Central African Empire and Navarre are both trying something new.

The first war begins on turn 39 when Qin attacks Switzerland, immediately damaging Zurich.

Three turns later, Albania declares war on Ukraine and swiftly begins to lay siege to Kharkiv.

Qin captures Zurich later that turn. I guess we're not looking at another Swiss victory, that's for sure.

Kharkiv also falls, and the Ukrainian army has been absolutely decimated.

The Aleuts sweep in to finish the job.

And finish it they do, as Kyiv falls after just four turns, eliminating Yulya Tymoshenko of Ukraine in 21st place.

One turn later, Qin captures Bern, eliminating Henri Dufour of Switzerland in 20th place.

In an interesting departure from the usual pattern, the Geats declare war on Thayae Khittaya. Beowulf has settled three cities (for once) and put them in decent positions (for once). So he might actually not be shit this time.

Sonora joins the war on Beowulf's side, pinning Thayae Khittaya between two enemies.

The Geats capture Hanlin, consolidating their territory quite nicely.

And Sonora captures Thayae Khittaya itself three turns later, eliminating Duttabaung of Thayae Khittaya in 19th place.

A war that saw little fighting ends with a bang as Navarre gives away Bilbao to Albania!

Albania then attacks the CAE! Skanderbeg is not slowing down at all!

Turn 100 arrives, so it's time for the stats. Qin has a significant lead in military manpower, followed by Newfoundland, with Albania and Uzbekistan in a near dead heat for third.

Maurya is producing the most food, unsurprising given their starting area, while Qin and Newfoundland once again make appearances in the top three.

And Qin also has the most production thanks to all the good land they gained from eating Switzerland. The Aleuts and Albania, two other major conquerors, round out the top three.

Vietnam awakes from obscurity and makes peace with the Blackfoot, receiving Káínaa in the process.

Albania has routed the CAE army and captured Mbaiki. Bangui will be much more challenging, however.

Maurya builds the Great Wall, which is kind of fitting since Maurya itself is serving as a wall that cuts off Papua and Vanuatu from the rest of the world.

Vietnam soon declares war on the Blackfoot again, and this time they look like they're going for the jugular.

Eight turns later, Vietnam takes Siksikáwa, exiling Crowfoot to his weird lake colony.

The Aleuts attack Albania! Has Skanderbeg overextended?

He will at least be able to devote his entire force to fighting the Aleuts now, since Albania has taken Bangui, eliminating Jean-Bedel Bokassa of the Central African Empire in 18th place.

Aleut ships harass the Albanian coast, taking Kharkiv.

Kharkiv flips back momentarily, then Albania loses it to Numidia instead.

Weirdly, Kharkiv is now back to the Aleuts, but the Numidians have simply moved down the coast, taking Bilbao.

Albania takes back Bilbao and then makes peace with the Aleuts, who get to keep Kharkiv.

Albania then declares war on Navarre and immediately loses Bilbao to its original owner.

Albania gets some help from its former enemy, however, as Agugux also declares war on Navarre!

Vietnam makes peace with the Blackfoot and then turns against a much more formidable target: the heavily fortified Maurya!

However, the Great Wall does nothing against ships, so Vietnam easily takes Sathya Putra.

And the Numidians capture Aapátohsipikáni, eliminating Crowfoot of the Blackfoot in 17th place.

The Geats, having just barely fended off a Maurya attack on their capital, now face a new threat in the form of Sonora.

Vietnam takes another Mauryan city, the canal settlement of Suvarnagiri.

The Geats get some help from Newfoundland, but it might be too late, as Sonoran units are already swarming through their eastern borders.

Sonora captures Lödöse, although given its location it's no great loss to the Geats.

Two large armies clash as Uzbekistan declares war on the Numidians! This will be a war that tests the mettle of both sides.

And Vietnam continues its absorption of nearby Mauryan cities, capturing Toshali.

Newfoundland captures Ensenada, which was highly exposed and easy to take.

Maurya recaptures Toshali and immediately makes peace. Vietnam still gained two cities in this war, but the failure to acquire Toshali means another war is inevitable.

Sonora continues to eat through the Geats, taking Hrefnesholt.

Uzbekistan wins the easy way, acquiring Auzia in a peace treaty with the Numidians.

And now it's time for the turn 200 stats. Qin still has the most soldiers, but now Vietnam and the Aleuts have risen into second and third respectively.

Vietnam and Maurya are tied for the lead in technologies. Fitting that they were fighting each other...

Vietnam has just slightly overtaken Qin in production. Ying Zheng will need to step up his game if he wants to stay on top of the pack.

Vietnam attacks Sonora, and La Paz looks awfully exposed...

The two Pacific civilizations go to war as Papua attacks its smaller neighbour, Vanuatu.

Maurya joins the war against Sonora, all but ensuring that William Walker will face a catastrophic defeat.

Vietnam captures La Paz, the Sonoran capital.

And Maurya takes Mulege, although it's not clear that they can hold it.

Guess what time it is? It's Fuck Albania o'clock! Five civilizations, including Uzbekistan, the Numidians, and the Inca all attack Alabania.

The Aleuts join in soon after to provide naval support.

Vietnam punches through to the north coast by taken Cabo San Lucas.

Maurya, having secured Mulege, moves on to Hrefnesholt.

Albania actually starts out on the offensive, taking Kharkiv.

Sonora makes peace with Vietnam and gives away Lödöse, ensuring that Maurya takes the kill.

And indeed, Ashoka captures Thayae Khittaya, eliminating William Walker of Sonora in 16th place.

The Aleuts take back Kharkiv, but this time they raze it.

Maurya moves on to its next easiest target: the Geats.

Skara falls after 11 turns.

Meanwhile, Papua finally manages to take Teouma after a huge series of pitched battles which I didn't bother to show you.

Out of nowhere, Ezo captures Bangui, marking the first major loss for Albania in the coalition against them.

And Maurya captures Hanlin, eliminating Beowulf of the Geats in 15th place.

Ezo also captures Mbaiki, thanks to their more advanced medieval ships.

However, they lose Mbaiki and its flips to the Inca instead. Uzbekistan captures Krujë on the same turn.

Sometime between turn 250 and turn 258, Papua captures Mangaas, eliminating Roymata of Vanuatu in 14th place.

Albania makes peace with Uzbekistan and gives away Bilbao.

Uzbekistan then shifts its now-considerable bulk in the direction of the Numidians again.

Capsa falls, and Cirta is looking a little lonely...

Then, disaster strikes: both Qin and Vietnam have declared war on Uzbekistan! There's no way for Islam Karimov to hold off this invasion; it's simply too massive.

The Inca also declare war on Uzbekistan so that they can pick up Bilbao.

The Aleuts, smelling blood, also jump on the pile.

Sure enough, the Inca take Bilbao without much trouble.

Vietnam pushes in and takes Bukhara. Note how long and straight Vietnam is becoming.

The Inca now have an open path to Tirana, so they declare war on Albania again.

Suddenly, Maurya declares war on Vietnam! This looks even at first, but in reality, Vietnam could be in trouble if they don't get more units out to their eastern end.

Somehow, Albania retakes both Mbaiki and Bilbao. This is highly embarrassing for Pachacuti.

Maurya begins to pick off minor Vietnamese cities, taking Suvarnagiri and Lödöse.

The Aleuts take Bilbao and the Inca recapture Mbaiki, driving Skanderbeg back into Tirana again.

Vietnam manages to rally at the last minute and retake Suvarnagiri before making peace, also forestalling the seemingly inevitable fall of La Paz, which was down to the low yellow.

The Aleuts finally make gains against Uzbekistan, taking Capsa.

India made peace with the Aleuts and gives away Bangalore. I had no idea they were even at war.

At turn 300, the stats seem to have been shaken up a bit. Papua now has the largest army (probably because all the big boys have been busy fighting each other), and Vietnam and Maurya have both overtaken Qin.

Maurya also has a tenuous lead in technologies, with Vietnam and Qin right behind.

And Maurya also now has the most hammers, with a decent margin over #2 Vietnam.

The Aleuts continue to pick of small Uzbek cities, taking Auzia.

Maurya somehow loses Lödöse to Newfoundland.

Meanwhile, the Aleuts capture Tirana, eliminating Skanderbeg of Albania in 13th place.

Qin sweeps in suddenly and captures both Tashkent and Samarkand, leaving Uzbekistan with just one puppeted city.

And the Aleuts take Krujë, eliminating Islam Karimov of Uzbekistan in 12th place.

Vietnam and Qin then both declare war on the Aleuts. This part of the world just can't get a break.

Vietnam manages to take Auzia, but the Aleuts seem to have plenty of troops up here and should be able to hold their own.

Despite this, they don't, and Qin takes Krujë.

Vietnam just keeps going, taking Capsa and getting even longer and skinnier.

A half-assed Aleut naval attack somehow takes Pamplona. Fascinating. (They made peace right after this too.)

Vietnam, growing bored with the Aleuts, now attacks the Numidians.

Cirta falls, but the natural defenses are Aapátohsipikáni are practically impenetrable from this direction.

Indeed, Vietnam decides not to bother with the old Blackfoot fortress city.

Papua declares war on Vietnam, which seems frankly suicidal.

Indeed, Vietnam easily takes Mangaas.

On the same turn, Qin declares war on Ezo. Several brutal citadels will serve to assist the invasion.

Sapporo falls in just five turns, but it should flip a bit.

Somehow, Vietnam takes Hakodate. This is absurd.

Offscreen, the Inca appear to have taken San Sebastian and eliminated Sancho III of Navarre in 11th place.

Newfoundland makes peace with Maurya and gives away Ensenada, which has grown to a ridiculous size due to Newfoundland's food bug and will now probably starve.

The Inca join the war against Ezo, seeking to pick up some more juicy cities.

But first, the turn 400 stats. Maurya now has the most soldiers again, and Vietnam is closing the gap.

Vietnam also now has a decisive tech lead, with five techs over Maurya and seven over third place Papua.

And Vietnam now has the most production, just barely edging out Qin, while Maurya has dropped to third.

Qin takes Asahikawa, while the Incas surround Bangui.

And Pachacuti captures Bangui, eliminating Enomoto Takeaki of Ezo in 10th place.

Here's the moment I finally noticed that Navarre was dead. Only took me between 11 and 16 turns...

Oh shit, here it comes baby! Vietnam has declared war on Qin!

Meanwhile, Papua attacks Maurya. All we need is a connection between these two huge conflicts and we'll have a proper world war.

Unsurprisingly, Qin easily takes Hakodate from Vietnam.

Qin also takes Auzia...

But—holy shit, the Trung Sisters do NOT mess around! Vietnam has gone straight for the capital, taking Xianyang!

Papua makes peace with Maurya and gives away Boera. So much for that...

Despite flipping his capital, Ying Zheng is not deterred, and he keeps conquering in the north, taking Capsa.

But Vietnam is going about this systematically, capturing Jiangzhou and working its way slowly inland.

Now the counterattack begins, as Vietnam retakes Auzia.

The Inca and India, sensing Qin's weakness, join the war on Vietnam's side.

India actually manages to take Capsa, which is a gamble, because the Trung Sisters might not approve of a small nation taking a city that used to be theirs.

Vietnamese ships have worked their way all the way around to the south coast, where they've taken Sapporo.

The Inca make progress as well, capturing Asahikawa.

Vietnam captures Tashkent, un-triggering Qin's UA as applied to Uzbekistan.

Vietnam takes Nanzheng, at which point Qin sues for peace and signs a treaty giving away Zurich, Sapporo, and Krujë.

Turn 500 arrives. Vietnam's military has grown enormously, but so have the Aleuts, making this stat closer than expected.

Vietnam's tech lead has grown from five techs to eight.

And their production lead has become much more significant, although still not insurmountable.

Vietnam then moves to take down another of the big boys—and this time it's Maurya. This should also prove to be an epic battle.

Ensenada, cut off from any reinforcements, is the first city to fall.

Toshali goes down 10 turns after the start of the war, but it only lasted that long because Vietnam is stuck with its infantry that can't take cities, and the AI tries to take cities with them anyway.

Taxila is the next to go. Maurya is now driven quite a ways from Hanoi, which was probably the goal.

But the Trung Sisters aren't going to declare victory while there's still more to be conquered, so they keep on going and take Kapilvastu.

...And Mulegé...

And, whoa, they've taken Pataliputra. Insane.

Thayae Khittaya falls as Mulegé and Kapilvastu flip back and forth.

It only takes a few units to capture Boera, too.

Mathura and Hrefnesholt are captured...

At which pint Ashoka makes peace and gives away Hanlin and Lödöse. Jesus Christ.

Turn 600 arrives. Vietnam's military lead is now absolutely indisputable.

Their tech lead hasn't increased, but it's a bad sign for everyone else that it hasn't gotten smaller either.

Vietnam also now has more than twice as much production as the #2 Aleut. I'd say this round has been decided.

Vietnam soon attacks Maurya again. This should be short.

Indeed, after just three turns of war, Skara falls, eliminating Ashoka of Maurya in 9th place.

Next on the chopping block is Qin, again.

Bern falls immediately, and Qin loses "control" of Switzerland.

Tashkent is next (they captured it back before making peace in the previous war).

And then Vietnam takes Samarkand and Hakodate in a single strike, eliminating Ying Zheng of Qin in 8th place.

The Aleuts declare war on India, seeking to build up as much territory as they can before the inevitable clash with Vietnam.

Sorry, what's that? Vietnam is already attacking the Aleuts? Oh shit...

Tirana falls...

And Agdaagux...

And Bilbao...

And Kyiv...

The Aleuts briefly retake Kyiv, only to lose it to India.

But India's control of the city is brief, and it soon goes back to Vietnam, along with Sanak.

The Aleuts then make peace, giving away Adamagan, Bangalore, Amaknak, Idaliuk, and Ounalashka. Ouch.

Five turns later, Vietnam declares war on India, capturing Capsa immediately.

Bombay falls after two more turns...

And two turns after that, Vietnam rolls into Delhi, eliminating Indira Gandhi of India in 7th place.

The Inca are next, it seems. Pachacuti accepts this inevitability.

Bangui and Asahikawa are swiftly captured.

Mbaiki falls; bombing runs are made against Cusco.

And Cusco also falls.

Followed by Tiwanaku and San Sebastian...

And with the fall of Machu, Pachacuti of the Inca is eliminated in 6th place.

The Trung Sisters then swing back to the Aleuts again.

Anangula falls...

And Pamplona...

And when Vietnam takes Chaluka, Agugux of the Aleuts is eliminated in 5th place.

Next is Papua; their capital falls immediately.

Teouma is captured on the next turn...

One turn after that, Elevala falls...

Two more turns and Falesa is captured...

And one turn after that, Vietnam takes Baruni, eliminating Rajapapua of Papua in 4th place.

The last remaining capital is held by Newfoundland. It will be simple to take it; Mount Pearl has already fallen. Also worth noting, this means that the Numidians will probably never be eliminated.

Corner Brook is captured...

And it's over; Vietnam has won round 5. What a performance!

Obligatory aftermath shot, with the Numidians just chilling on their little peninsula.

The score now stands as follows:

Albania: 1
Sonora: 1
The CAE: 1
Switzerland: 1
Vietnam: 1

Thanks for reading, and I'll be back again eventually!