MEIOU&Taxes 2.0 Brittany AAR/Mod Showcase -- Part 17: Age of Exploration

Author: Findan
Published: 2017-11-18, edited: 2017-11-18
Rather Death Than Dishonor -- Europa Universalis IV AAR with MEIOU & Taxes 2.0 modification

Follow a lone man's epic quest to make Brittany a great power and learn a thing or two about the freaking amazing mod MEIOU & Taxes.

About the AAR in general:
-"""comedic""" and historical
- narrative, roleplay, gameplay
- Mostly screenshots instead of photos or paintings
- Some crude language
- Lengthy explanations of M&T mechanics
- Advice for new players of M&T
- The writer isn't a native speaker
- How i do talk england?

Part of the campaign:

MEIOU&Taxes 2.0 Brittany AAR/Mod Showcase

Previous part:

Game: Europa Universalis IV

MEIOU&Taxes 2.0 Brittany AAR/Mod Showcase -- Part 16: Means of Production

Images: 97, author: Findan, published: 2017-11-11

>17 parts to begin exploration
>111 years in 16 parts

welp, shit happens when you've only made one AAR before. The possible sequel will not be so agonisingly slow. It'll still be shit, though.

Anyways, enough of that, I have to narrate about a war.

The Breton merchant navy is immediately drafted into service and, under the command of Patern Rolland, sent to blockade the coast of Constentin while Yann Carne's army besieges the province.

Oh and also two things: M&T is not compatible with the new 1.23 patch, so if you want to play the mod, revert back to 1.22. In addition, Food Information Submod has been updated, get the new patch on the forums if you're using the mod. Whining on the forums does wonderful things~
However, there's not enough ships to keep supplies from slipping past to the enemy. Patern Rolland calculates that they need at least one more ship to make the blockade 100% effective.

Some crewmen scratch their heads in confusion.
Meanwhile in France, Burgundy's large host marches south while the Aragonese march north. In Iberia, the Castilian army approaches Aragon ominously.
Gaël's explorers find an island in the sea, already settled by fellow christians. It is Madeira, a virgin island now being colonized by the crown of Portugal.

Settler growth is generally slower than in vanilla, because fuck you that's why. It's supposed to be offset by there being more colonists available, but early on when there is just one colonizable province it doesn't really help.

Madeira is an unpopulated province and thus immediately gets the colonizer's culture and religion.
Gaël sails along the African coast, which is dry, desolate, coarse, rough and sandy. Almost no signs of life are seen on land, except for a small nomadic camp or two. The seas around the infamous Cape Bojador had already been explored by the Portuguese, but sailors are still nervous about sea monsters. Yet no beasts are seen, except for several whales and dolphins. The land might be shit, but the sea is teeming with life.

This province is the first colonizable province I found, but un-fucking-fortunately it's too far away. Breton colonial range needs to be improved.

(I'm not talking about Bujadur the province, as the real cape Bojador (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cape_Bojador) is located 200 kilometres further south. M&T creators just made a mistake, that's all.)
Isabeau lets the soldiers rob fellow christians as some of them might be heretics.
While most of the enemy forces are concentrated down south, some Burgundians begin pouring in to Brittany. Castile besieges the capital of Navarre, which is unlikely to last much longer.
Gaël's ships return to Nantes from their expedition to resupply and recuperate. Isabeau is not happy that Prester John's kingdom hasn't been found yet, but she has other things to worry about.

Next Gaël's fleet will sail west. He wishes to find land that could be settled and turned into a staging post for further expansion into Africa.
Constentin's castles and towns surrender, small-scale massacres of presumed heretics take place and Yann's army goes south to attack the Burgundians before they can consolidate.
The small army is easily defeated and the survivors taken prisoners, but more Burgundian warbands keep approaching from the east.
As Burgundy sieges Castilian Aragon, the spaniards raise their plentiful levies.

Never underestimate large countries as their nobles usually have an army almost as large as the state army.
Patern sails to blockade Burgundy's holdings in the Netherlands. Burgundy, however, is the dominant naval power in the channel. He doesn't dare to challenge the fleet of ten caravels with his eleven caravels and six crummy transport ships, fearing that another fleet lies in wait in the fog of war. At least he can blockade one port.
He turns out to be wrong as another Burgundian fleet is down south, blockading Nantes. On land, the burgundians begin retaking Constentin. Yann prepares to attack them before they receive too many reinforcements.
The mighty host of Castile meets those of Aragon and Burgundy in battle in the woods of Ponent. Blocks of pikemen skewer each other, noble horsemen charge at each other and cannons rain hell on the enemy. Castile's artillery is especially fearsome, with hundreds of cannons and thousands of gunners.
The battle ends in a Castilian victory. Casualties are tremendous on both sides and no sign of chivalry or heroism is found on the bloody battlefield, only dead and wounded. *Indy Neidell voice* This, is modern war.

we've reached the point where I'm constantly recycling things because I have nothing original to say anymore
The Burgundians have managed to join together, and now Yann faces an enemy equal in strength. Nevertheless he orders an attack, confident in his abilities. And those of his men, of course.

Patern Rolland's fleet is now stuck between a rock and a hard place as the enemy blockades Constentin. He has no option other than to stay put and continue his own blockade.
The enemy's pikemen can do little as heavily armoured gendarmes charge their flanks and rear, having routed their cavalry. Well, except die or surrender, which they end up doing in droves.
Press F to pay respects
Another small Burgundian force has gathered around the walls of Nantes, waiting for reinforcements before they can begin the siege. The local garrison sallies out and attacks the outnumbered foe, while Yann comes to help from the north.
Bretons end up taking more casualties, but not by much. Half of the enemy force manages to survive and retreats.
But glorious victories bring no relief to Brittany, as more and more Burgundians approach.
Gaël finds what he wanted to find, green isles in the middle of the ocean, perfect for a small naval base. But it is located quite far away both from Brittany and Africa, so he doubts its ultimate usefulness.
The larger Burgundian army thankfull marches back south while Yann attacks a small enemy detachment that was trying to join with their friends.
After the easy victory, Yann's scouts report that many enemy soldiers have been incapacitated by disease. It's the perfect time to attack.

Enemy army stronger than yours? Wait for a disease outbreak, then attack. In M&T, it's not too much of a problem. That is, if you're lucky.
The Pope realizes several German princes are heretics and starts swinging the medieval equivalent of a banhammer, the excommunicationhammer.
Bohemia is not the only Calixtine state, as more and more princes protest church corruption by embracing heresy. Hoya is one of them, but there are several others, and more will come.
Yann's gamble ends up being worthwhile as he wins a great victory. It seems that the age of knights is far from over as the pikemen regiments are soundly defeated by classic hammer and anvil tactics.
While robbing a small town on the coast of Flanders, Patern gets shot fatally. His subordinates take command and proceed to do nothing.
Yann is somewhat depressed when he hears reports from friendly French scouts of a yet another enemy force approaching, equally strong as the one he just defeated.
Castilians and Burgundians, instead of facing each other on the battlefield, waltz around each other and besiege stuff.

You won't believe how many times this happened in history. Often you only hear of the glorious battles, when they were only one small part of warfare.
War in Ireland! The clan confederation of Thomond refuses to recognize the supreme authority of the larger clan confederation of Tyrconnell and now war has broken out between the two. Brittany is unable to intervene.
Even if it was able to intervene, it'd be too busy with damn Burgundian bastards.
The three armies in Iberia finally fight and the results are gnarly for the Burgundians.

Etienne de Larrey seems to have a remarkable ability to lose less men than the enemy yet still lose the battle.
Yann decides to attack the enemy like he had before, with the odds of victory being the same. But this time things don't go so well as the enemy has adapted. Pike squares form in a way that keeps them protected from all sides, rendering the Bretons' greatest strength, cavalry, almost completely useless. The men-at-arms and dismounted knights don't fare much better and struggle to get past the spearwalls of the enemy.
After several hours Yann has two options: retreat or lose valuable men in a useless meatgrinder. He ends up picking the less honourable option.

The casualties are heavy on both sides, but the siege was not broken.
this feels like an insult

fuck you game i just lost a battle, there's no glory in that
Yann's beaten and battered army returns to Nantes, forcing Isabeau to consider making peace before Constentin falls.
We have just enough warscore to take Constentin. The Castilians won't mind not getting anything except cash as they joined the war to return a favour.
Peace talks end and Aragon-Navarre cedes the populous peninsula to Brittany. It was a short war, but with a great reward.
Burgundians are baffled to be told by their ruler to abandon the siege and go home, but do so anyways lest they lose their heads.

While before Brittany looked like a dick, now it looks like a dick with a smaller dick sticking out of it.
Immediately the overextension drops the manpower cap my several thousand, meanining Brittany suddenly has plentiful manpower.
Gaël fails to find much of value in the western seas, except for the lush islands of Azores. He concludes that further exploration of the west is a waste of time and that all focus should be in the south. Some sailors say they might find a way to India by sailing west. Gaël calls them scurvy-stricken morons and reminds them of how huge the world is, according to the Greeks and other wise men. It would be fucking insanity to try to find a route to India in the west.
And so Gaël prepares another expedition to Africa.
Now that the war is over, Isabeau can send some men to the newly discovered islands in the west, hoping to find pagans to convert.
Captain Uuinmael (yes, that's a real name) and his men sail west, many dying of disease during the trip. A trail of floating corpses is left behind, as no one wants to keep them rotting on deck.
The drafted men had thought they could be at peace now that the war ended, but no, they're sent on a long journey across the sea where half of them get seasick and dozens of them die. At least they can spend some time on a paradise island. But the question for them is, are there any hot brown-skinned women to fuck?
Nope.
Not only that, but the islands are even further away than Bujadur (which isn't actually bujadur but it's not like I can call it anything else yet). Fucking trade wind mechanic, man.

And so the men sail back to Brittany, leaving behind a trail of corpses, vomit and cum floating on the water.
Gaël's fleet finds much in the south. The coast curves southward, the land gets increasingly lush and a group of isles has been found. Few European ships have ever sailed this far south, except for Portuguese ones. Many sailors still can't believe that a horrible sea monster hasn't eaten them.
Gaël prepares to go south again, this time exploring the coast more thoroughly.
It looks like my only option is to settle Bujadur. To reach it, I need this idea right here, meaning I need to beeline it before the Portuguese take the only province that allows me to go south.
So I need to spam bird mana and thus need to hire an advisor. Gwenneg isn't too bad anyways, as those naval bonuses will be useful if Brittany has to fight the formidable Burgundian navy in the future.
In the less desolate lands, Gaël finds civilization. It is the rainy season, so the land is fairly green and lush, with many farms visible further inland. But the people working on them are not white-skinned, but much darker. The more superstitious sailors claim they've found monsters of some sorts, but Gaël dismisses those claims. He lands with a small group of men and eventually meets with a local noble, who has converted to Islam and thus speaks arabic fairly well. Gaël, a merchant who has traded much in islamic Iberia, can easily hold a conversation with him.

According to the noble, the lands belong to the Empire of Jolof, an ally of the mighty Mali Empire. Many have, under the pressure of islamic Mali, embraced Islam, while the rest hold on to their old faith. He tells of several nearby towns which Gaël later visits. He realizes they are similar in size to towns back home in Brittany, with the largest one rivaling Brest. The people of Jolof are certainly a good potential trading partner, not some kind of barbarian monsters.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jolof_Empire
Erzincan took the Jewish province while Tunis took Cairo, cumming inside Mamluk's dead corpse one more time.

Wait, why did Erzincan take the jewish province only? What if... what if the jews are secretly controlling Erzincan and thus wanted to rescue their brothers in faith? What if the joos control the Ottoman Empire? What if the j e w s control the WORLD? OH MY GOD

holy shit my brain hurts, I don't think it's healthy to pretend to be insane.
Tyrconnell has a good navy for such a small nation and thus can comfortably blockade the capital of their enemy, gaining a bunch of warscore. But so far no battles have been fought and no province taken.
fuck you Navarre

The fate of the heretics of Constentin is unknown as Breton administration is yet to bring order and stability to the province. Not to mention how many of them were killed or forced to become refugees.

OOC explanation: When you take a province, a lot of the modifiers like the Dei Gratia ones have to reset and might thus disappear for a while.
In the future, I'll be able to divert cash from Guinea coast straight to the Bay of Biscay.
Uuinmael goes with a small army to explore the newly discovered African lands, but unlike Gaël ends up finding hostile company that attacks them on sight. And because I forgot entirely about natives attacking armies and also forgot to raise army maintenance, guess what happens.
*facetable*

Many of Uuinmael's men who are not killed are sold into slavery. Uuinmael himself barely manages to escape the fierce desert nomads.
The Irishmen are too drunk to fight each other and instead continue to besiege castles. So far, neither side has that much of an advantage.
Now that many know the potential of trade with Africans, merchants are eager to begin founding trade posts along the coast.

Two more ideas left.
As the objective is trade, not slaughter, subjugation, robbery, forceful religious conversion or rape, the colonists will gladly leave the natives alone.

I always pick this one because both native attacks and events saying natives have assimilated are annoying.
Martial law in Constentin is over and Nantes can now communicate with the local government.

I can begin coring the province. Once I have enough paper mana, that is.
oh cool, Brittany's nation rank is better now that Constentin has been taken. A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.

2 million people are now subjects of the Duke of Brittany and his zealous regent. That is a scary thought.
King Louis XIII (these regnal numbers are already starting to get ridiculous) kicks the bucket and Louis XIV inherits the throne.
Right now, there's nothing more to discover, really. Gaël continues to his old job as a merchant and hopes one day he can explore new lands once more.
Tyrconnell is beginning to win and even defeated their drunken brothers in battle once.
While Gaël wanted to solve the issue of Granada with exploration, Castile wants to solve it with gunpowder. The Emir has refused to pay tribute and now war begins.
Isabeau's relatives in Albret ask her to persuade Duke Artur into signing an alliance between Brittany and Albret, the best of friends and closest allies ever. Artur isn't sure where Albret is and doesn't know much about it, but shrugs and accepts the alliance offer as it's never bad to have more friends.
The capital of the confederation of Thomond is under siege and about to fall. Victory is in hands of the Irish. The ones of Tyrconnell, that is.
Madeira is fully colonized now. If you wonder how a colony with 1000 colonists and no one else has 10,000 citizens, you're just ignorant and wrong. You'll see why eventually.

Which province will they colonize next? Bujadur?!
Thankfully the Portuguese colonize the uninhabited but lovely islands of Cabo Verde instead.
Finally, the integration of Constentin begins. After that, it's time to P U R G E some H E R E T I C S.
M&T loves madrigal, apparently, as it gets its own event, its own decision (where you can compose your own madrigal) and its own province effect.

who gives a shit honestly
The nobles protest that they have not been returned their rightful titles and that peace was made with Navarre and Aragon so early and so cowardly. When Isabeau accuses them of heresy for being such dicks, the nobles flip out and refuse to attend the Estates again.

fuck i love this event SO MUCH

SO FUCKING MUCH BELIEVE ME
There's nothing I can do as this event appeared 7 months too early. Fuck me.
shit
And finally, Tuadhmhumhain (say that ten times fast) falls and the clans of Tyrconnell are victorious. All of Ireland is united under one crown and the clans are together, albeit not fully united yet. But eventually, the internal squabbles can end and a new kingdom can rise: the Kingdom of Éire.

Sinne Fianna Fáil,
atá faoi gheall ag Éirinn,
Buíon dár slua
thar toinn do ráinig chugainn,
Faoi mhóid bheith saor
Seantír ár sinsear feasta,
Ní fhágfar faoin tíorán ná faoin tráill.
Anocht a théam sa bhearna baoil,
Le gean ar Ghaeil, chun báis nó saoil,
Le gunna scréach faoi lámhach na bpiléar,
Seo libh canaídh amhrán na bhfiann!

Sinne Fianna Fáil...
See? Now Madeira has 1000 people. It'll grow quickly from there.

Yes, provinces in M&T can have less than 1 development. I've seen famine and plague reduce some provinces to 7000-9000 rural population before, which caused this modifier to appear. As population increases, so does the tax income.
Austria decides to put Bohemia out of its misery and euthanize them.
What the fuck is it with the balkans this game? Every few years some damned thing in the balkans triggers a huge war where thousands die!

oh wait that's how it is in real life i forgot
Top 10 Anime Betrayals

Hungary and Bulgaria have been best friends for decades but now it's over.
O.o

Well that was fucking quick, took them four months
Artur comes of age and Isabeau steps down as regent, although she continues to have much control over her 15-year-old child.
Artur is one horny kid, always lusting after sexy wamen. Too bad porn doesnt exist yet, so he has no option that to flirt with every female he meets, much to the ire of his mother. But hey, at least he's very likely to have an heir soon.

Anglos are now so pathetic they are not worthy of being rivals.
The former greater nobles, now lesser nobles, are finally calming down after half a decade.
They're still pretty grumpy though, but soon enough I'll be able to give them a privilege to quickly boost them over 31% loyalty.
Little bit over a month after the coronation, a noble woman Artur impregnated nine months ago gives birth to a child. And as is tradition, if you make a woman pregnant, you marry her. The house of Léon doesn't mind this at all as they now have a powerful ally. The newborn is named Charles.

wait did Artur, a 15-year-old boy, make a 22-year-old woman pregnant?

he's one horny boy isn't he
Milan and Tuscany have a tussle. It might seem good for Milan, but unfortunately for them Tuscany is allied with Naples.
A new ship is commissioned and the Breton navy reaches its maximum size.
Yann Carne passes away, having left his mark on Breton history after winning many heroic battles and looting the shit out of England.
Artur knows he's young and dumb and thus hires an advisor from Italy to assist him. It does put him into debt, but it'll be worth it.

This should help me unlock Exploration ideas I need. For once I'm lucky.
Artur intends to amend the poor relationship with the lesser lords and barons and reduces the size of levies the nobles need to provide. The nobles are happy and pledge loyalty to their young Duke.
Unlike his mother, Artur is a competent ruler. However, his diplomatic skills aren't too good as he tends to sexually harass any female she interacts with, even if they're the wife of a King. For some reason this slows down the naval development of Brittany.

I activate bird mana focus to really speed up the unlocking of those sweet exploration ideas.
All Granada's holdings on the Iberian peninsula are about to be in Castilian control. However, the Granadan navy prevents them from crossing the strait of Gibraltar and besieging the rest of Granada.
Heretic Bohemia is carved apart by the Austrians who take the battered capital region of Prague, which at this point has 0 urban population.
After many decades, the Roman Emperor reverts back to orthodoxy and expels many catholic bishops. As a result, the Pope excommunicates him.
Hungary's war against Kosovo is turning into a failure as they are pushed back.
Now that Constentin is being assimilated, the officials have found the numerous heretics living in the province.
Madeira's population has already reached 3000 and tax income has increased accordingly.
Hungary's invasion ends in failure as peace is made and the Balkans balkanized just a little bit more.
One more idea left.
As I expected, Milan's defence of Lucca is failing as Naples comes to aid their Tuscan allies. Florence has fallen, but that doesn't help the Milanese much.
The university of Angers is quickly embracing the ideals of the renaissance movement, which soon start spreading to the ducal court.

This is pretty good for me as I will now get Renaissance faster. Not having it gives a 25% tech penalty, so it's pretty dang important.
Artur pays back the loan he took.
Castile completes the Reconquista and takes Granada. The Nasrid dynasty moves its capital to Ceuta.

Every time Granada is conquered by the catholics, Demiansky sheds a tear.
Bohemia continues getting into trouble as a succession war erupts with Bayern-München, who have inherited the throne of Moravia.
Well that was quick.
Artur's mother always told him that it is the will of God for him to become Duke and lead Brittany to victory against heretics and heathens. He embraces this idea and sees his rule as divine. This means that some of the land owned by the church is rightfully his, as he is the true leader of Brittany's church.

This doesn't exactly please the bishop of Rennes and the rest of the clergy, but Artur does not waver.
He is not satisfied with seizing the church lands around Rennes and demands more concessions.
But the clergy adamantly refuses to give him any more land, lest they lose their source of wealth. For Artur, this is merely further proof of the corruption and the greed of the church.
More proof comes as the Pope, strongly influenced by the King of Naples, denounces the Queen of Hungary wihout providing much evidence for her sins.
You know you're in terrible shape when Bayern-München kicks your ass within months.
The nomads who had attacked Uiinmael's expedition years ago have consolidated and formed a tribal state.
This causes unrest in the nearby regions, like in the Empire of Jolof.
With Isabeau being replaced by Artur who seems a little more cooperative than her, the greater nobles calm down and attend the Estates again.
The woman Artur banged turns out to be a talented military commander. Too bad she can't actually lead armies.
After a long time, the church decides to try fixing its problems with a council once again, hoping that this time it will work.

Brittany's delegates will try to fix the greatest problem plaguing the church, absenteeism.
Finally, I can unlock this idea and begin colonization.
Merchants fund and send a group of colonists to Bujadur, aiming to found a small port which will function as a staging post for further expansion into Africa. Artur sends some missionaries with them and gives his blessing and support for the expedition.
Castile is now being called Spain because why not, and aims to finish the conquest of Aragon-Navarre and the unification of Iberia (although they'll leave Portugal alone, as it is their ally). Burgundy comes to aid their allies, and so Artur expects a call to arms to come from Spain soon.
And here it is. War is upon Brittany once more.

Phew, that was a long part. I'm pretty sure my fingers will die from overworking like Japanese. I'll now let them rest for a week.

Next time, there will be war, and it won't be a small tussle like the previous one. Expect lots of drama as Burgundy threatens Brittany. Also, some angry German will nail some papers onto a church door. Not sure why that's important...

Next chapter:

Game: Europa Universalis IV

MEIOU&Taxes 2.0 Brittany AAR/Mod Showcase -- Part 18: Nantes Falls

Images: 140, author: Findan, published: 2017-11-25

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