The Ocho: Part 4 - Of Curry and Babka

Author: mrtherussian
Published: 2017-01-30

Part of the campaign:

The Ocho

Previous part:

Game: Europa Universalis IV

The Ocho: Part 3 - Notorious Y.A.O.

Images: 82, author: mrtherussian, published: 2017-01-30

What starts as a red-colored landlocked Islamic 5-province country in a trade company region? No it's not Yao, silly!

It's Hadoti! The Shia Sultanate of our hearts and souls!

It's 1586 and Hadoti is led by Sultan Bhim Singh II, a thoroughly mediocre ruler!
Hadoti is allied with nearby Ahmednagar. They're Hindu but it seems like allies are hard to come by in India. For now their infidelity... infidelness? will have to be overlooked.

Neighboring Malwa owns our rightful clay which would connect us to the sea. The Sultan misses his beach palace. We must see about restoring our lands.
Malwa and Gujarat *hate* us. Looks like there will be no love lost when we move to reclaim the seafront.
Bahamanis is Shia. And large. The same is true of Persia. Sultan Bhim Singh II sends diplomats to begin making overtures, one Shia to another.
Hadoti can easily support a full *5* regiments! Stellar!

But just look at General Kunwar. Dat shock value. Mm. It's pretty much all he has but it's enough to make him a two star.
The Sultan's heir, Kamala, is similarly medicore. Perhaps this is the part of the reason we no longer have beachfront property, the peasants can be heard grumbling.
Perhaps is Kamala were to lead the troops he would have an unfortunate incident and - oh. Kamala is a girl's name. There's that plan out the window.
Dear Sweet Mohammed, the inflation. I mean, yay for gold mines I guess but that's impressive.
Hadoti aristocrats are offensive. This pleases Sultan Bhim.
Hadoti is currently the butt of every joke from Persia to Sri Lanka. But soon we will be the ones laughing, laughing from our decadent beach houses.
Unfortunately Malwa has some powerful allies. Sultan Bhim decides to wait for more powerful alliances of his own before the reconquest of the shoreline. Maybe some other large countries would like to be friends.
The Vijayanagar people aren't too fond of Malwa. The diplomats are sent to start working them over. Sultan Bhim picks the fruit basket out personally.
Hadoti can barely afford its two extant brigades. Sultan Bhim orders something done about the inflation problem, though it will be costly.
Grim news, the traitors in Gujarat launch a war of conquest against Hadoti before any additional alliances can be finalized! At least they have only five brigades. A few mercenaries should let us prevail easily.
Or they could be allied with Bahmanis. Bahmanis, why!? We are Shia brothers!

At least faithful Ahmednagar answers the call.
Ahmednagar puts pressure on Gujarat at home, giving Hadoti time to consolidate its troops with the mercenary companies.
Pretty funny, I've never seen this quest before - "Recover Abysmal Prestige". We only have to get up to 0 to win!
Not all of the mercenaries have formed up, but Sultan Bhim will not have the troops sit idly by while glory (and prestige!) go solely to Ahmednagar!
General Kunwar arrives one day too late to participate but he can still chase down the remnants of the Gujarat army and - oh. Hello Bahmanis. At least the numbers are fairly even. With Gujarat's army in disarray we even have a slight advantage!
Which the world immediately robs of us.

Sultan Bhim takes the news poorly. It's the kind of thing he would usually spend a day at the beach forgetting, but, well, there are currently issues with the beach situation.
Hadoti is surrounded by enemies on all sides. Sultan Bhim faces the facts: we are likely to lose most, perhaps even all, of our possessions.
Between all beligerents, the Hadoti League (Sultan Bhim named it himself much to Ahmednagar's chagrin) is outnumber 2.5:1.
Despite General Kunwar's superior leadership, the Malwese troops overrun the Hadotian forces.
A brutal loss for so small an army. The Ahmednagar troops were less than a week too slow in arriving to help.
At least they completely wipe out the Malwese army. Perhaps the situation is not completely hopeless.
But there is no time to recover. Ahmednagar moves to wipe out a small siege in northern Hadoti and General Kunwar marches in behind to capture a slice of vicarious glory.
The first Hadotian victory (that we were part of)! The troops rally around the general and morale is greatly boosted.
At least until the news about the Bahmanian troops is recieved. They are marching straight for us!
Our generals are evenly matched but Bahmanis fields many more cannon brigades.
The loss stings. The Hadoti brigade fought poorly and lost over 7,000 soldiers.
Worse, with enemy soldiers about to occupy all provinces there is no hope of raising additional mercenaries.

Not that Sultan Bhim could afford it.
Well if our wallet is already screwed we might as well go down in style.

Sultan Bhim orders clandestine monetary support be given to the angriest rebels in Malwa. Hopefully they'll be plagued with enough trouble at home to give up the war.
With so few Hadotian troops and so many enemies, Sultan Bhim feels it is best to simply attach his army to Ahmednagar's to avoid being caught alone.

The first happy news in months reaches the Hadotian palace: rebels have risen in Malwa, and not even the ones we're supporting.

On the other hand, 45,000 enemies run rampant through the country. One step forward, forty-five back. Sultan Bhim suggests progress could be made better by facing away from our goals, if this is the case. His advisors attempt to explain what a metaphor is but the Sultan is of medicore education.
The supported rebels rise up! Sultan Bhim throws open the eastern window and laughs heartily in Malwa's general direction.
Golkodan Nationalists have risen in Bahmanis as well. Sultan Bhim wants them on our side.
Whoops, they're Vijayanagarian rebels. Sultan Bhim asks if it's too late to stop the money carriage from leaving Hadoti.

It is.

To worse matters, Bahmanis has returned its army home to deal with the Hadoti League. It is going poorly.
A horrible loss. -6.66 warscore. Wha- 666? The number of the beast!?

Truly Allah has abandoned Hadoti. The Sultan despairs of surviving this war.
This time the Hadoti League is chased down like a wounded tiger. In Surat, they are slaughtered.
In Surat, they are slaughtered.
They flee to Khandesh...
And are slaughtered. They flee back to Surat...
Megaslaughter.
Sultan Bhim hangs himself in shame. His daughter Kamala ascends to the throne knowing she will probably be the last Hadotian to do so.

At least *her* heir is halfway decent. A little dull on the military stuff but otherwise a smart one.
The first thing Kamala does it go into bankruptcy. Oh no, our prestige! All the way down from -98 :(
Hadoti is completely sieged. Bahmanis will fall soon after. Neither Gujarat nor Malwa will accept any peace we can offer because both want to annex the entire country.

All Kamala can do is wait and hope something goes horribly wrong at home for her enemies.
Kamala gets her first chance to use the evil laugh she has been secretly practicing for the last 26 years.

The council is suitably humbled.
Hadoti freedom fighters rise up! Kamala sends them a dollar.

They get wiped out pretty much immediately. Should have kept the dollar.
It's a race to see whether Malwa or Ahmednagar will explode first.
Peace terms finally come. They are extremely painful to sign but they leave Hadoti alive, and that means a chance to strike back later.

Hadoti is left with only two provinces and is now even further from the beaches of her rightful clay.
A year later while scheming about revenge, Kamala is practicing her evil laugh while also eating figs. One becomes lodged in her throat and she chokes to death.

Her son is too young to assume the throne. There will be no reconquest wars for quite some time.

Truly Allah must view Hadoti with disfavor.
A defensive army was painstakingly raised in case of further aggression. Then some Malwa rebels decided the fastest way to the other side of Malwa was through Hadoti and the army was in the way.

Square one is a very familiar square for Hadoti.
Finally the Persians are convinced that Hadoti is an awesome potential ally. There may yet be hope for the besieged country.
Malwa threatens us not to engage in any warfare because they're a bunch of dirty hypocrite infidels who want to get trounced and oh my god do I hate them so much.
Hadoti is about as stable as a one-legged centipede. Might as well get some prestige out of it!
Despite being jerks before, Bahmanis can't hate on a Brother Shia for too long. Another fat ally is gained. Not one more inch, Malwa. You're going down.
Malwa decides it isn't fat enough and turns on Gujarat. Hadoti has a holiday.
Pratap comes of age! Hadotian revenge is just around the corner.

The new heir is an heir alright. Could certainly be worse.

Time to quickly build up an army with some mercenaries and -
Allah curse you.

Not only do they wreck they army, they begin to siege Ajmer. Ajmer is half of Hadoti right now! Bad bad bad.
Maybe 8 peasants can take on 11 nationalists? At least peasants don't want to secede.
Nope.

And then our loans tick over and we're bankrupt again. Our hard earned 10 prestige down the drain.
Pratap must make a decision - stay allied with Ahmednagar or follow Bahmanis on the path of conquest (meaning sit it out not getting killed while Bahmanis does whatever it has to).

Shia later, Ahmednagar. At the end of the day you guys aren't fat enough. Also infidels which matters, damn it!
It's fairly even, looking at pure numbers. Pratap pretty much doesn't care who wins, though. Things are bad at home.

Also the rebels in Ajmer have disbanded so we'll conjure up some troops and unsiege it. Happy day.
Or the rebels could break away and form their own country. Also cool.
Bahmanis eats Ahmednagar. We chose well. Shia power!
Newly formed Mewar says we live on their clay and they hate us for it.

Delhi lets us know they won't tolerate our violent wars that we keep having inflicted on us.

Seriously what is this.
Oh I see, Delhi wants our beautiful clay. Well they can tell it to Persia and Fatmanis.
Sure enough they - wait what? TRAITOROUS ALLIES!
The Delhi Deathstack appears on the border. This is the end.
Well. Hadoti is clearly the country of the damned. Pratap is executed along with his heir and the rest of his family is exiled. And it's only 1610. Better roll the dice and see what we can do with the 23 years left.
Galicia-Volhynia! Not only is it back, but we get to play them.

Whoa, Europe! Polan is kill. Danzig is a thing. Pomerania is huge. The Hansa is HUGE. Austria is starting to rival France for tumor resemblance. Muscovy still has not formed Russia. Brandenburg is the Emperor. Prussia is a landlocked OPM.

Looks like a good time. Hopefully G-V is in less of a crap position than poor Hadoti.
Allied with Muscovy and Austria. With plenty of cores and claims in Lithuania, who Muscovy is sure to help us beat on.
Ruthenian ideas are almost finished. Defensive and Religious ideas are completed. Orthodox stronk!
LOOK at that stack. Look at that general! Galicia-Volhynia and Muscovy will bury you, Lithuanian!
Hungary warns King Vladimir not to start any funny business, but his diplomats are already hard at work fabricating claims on anything with Ruthenian culture. The people must be saved!
What is Galicia-Volhynia without Volhynia!?

King Vladimir will see it restored!

Happily the Hungarians are busy fighting the Turk and don't join in.
I had no idea we were running on free money.
Muscovy is kind enough to transfer all of its sieges to our control. The Russians are siege machines!
Clearly the aristocrats don't follow current events. The Volhynian army is out sticking it to Lithuania even as they complain. Selfish bastards.
We catch some Lithuanian and Rigan brigades off guard. Glory to Volhynia!

Whoa crap they're westernized!
A huge enemy army was beating on the Muscovites, but the glorious Volhynian army arrived at the last second to claim they had something to do with the victory!
Peasants... peasants never change.
The Austrian armies finally show up and provide some relief to the battered Moscovites and Volhynians. The war is now a simple formality.

King Vladimir is shocked at the modesty of the Russians. So far they want only Smolensk.

Vladimir will be asking for a bit more than just Volhynia when he marches into Vilna.
To make up for the fact that the Russians don't want to be his sugar daddy anymore, King Vladimir imposes harsh war reparations on Riga. This is what you get for helping Lithuania. Let that be a lesson to the rest of Europe.
King Vladimir must restrict himself somewhat. The sacrifices of Muscovy *must* be rewarded, and so Smolensk is included in the deal. Still, four provinces are freed including Volhynia itself and Kiev. Lithuania is cut almost in half.
Despite Kiev's high base tax it will take less than two years to convert the province to the correct faith. Volhynian missionaries have some very convincing... tactics... involving fire and pointy, er, love of Christ.
Danzig hates Lithuania and that is all King Vladimir needs to fall in love.
What? Why does Moldavia fear Galicia-Volhynia? They do not own any Ruthenian provinces!
Oh come on, we didn't hurt them that badly! They're still three times our size and 80% of our border!
Wow, Catholicism is pretty much finished in Europe.

Luckily Volynia is around to keep Orthodox Stronk. It is just one more reason on a pile of reasons to punish the Lithuanian.
The Hungarian menace has fabricated a ridiculous claim on the very core of Galicia-Volhynia. It is intolerable. Some day we will put them in their place as well.
On the one hand, cheap technology. But on the other hand, burning heretics at the stake! King Vladimir has a hard time deciding. In the end the benefits of keeping up on the latest military tech and ideas wins out.
With Smolensk in hand, Muscovy can finally form Russia. It is glorious. It is frightening. It is green.
King Vladimir is still upset that Modlavia would be so afraid of Galicia-Volhynia. He needs something or someone to take his anger out on.

Ah, he has it! Why not invade Moldavia?

Especially with their main ally Hungary busy in Ottoman lands...
Seeing as how Pomerania hates Hungarians, they offer to be our deathpimp for the next 20 years!

Man, war is lucrative!
In mid 1620 King Vladimir passed on from the world. He rests easy knowing that he rescued the Volhynian people from Lithuania, even if there is much work left to do.

His son, Vsevolod IV, is a bright man with a decent grasp on all areas of leadership. His own son Vsevolod V is much the same except for military matters.

Rulers will not be an issue for Volhynia in the next 50 years or so.
With the help of Austria, the war with Hungary/Moldavia was very uneventful. Their armies wrecked and their provinces sieged, the Hungarians were forced to the bargaining table.

Miraculously the Austrians were not interested in any territorial gains, so King Vsevolod IV did what he could for Volhynia and her staunch ally Wallachia, carving off half of the Hungarian lands in one swipe. Wallachia's claims were fulfilled and the Ruthenian provinces of Hungary were freed from oppression to join Volhynia.
Moldavians, being non-Ruthenian, were less interesting as direct acquisitions. King Vsevolod offers them vassalization terms instead.
The famous "Volhynian Tactic" is applied in the former Hungarian lands, purging them of their wrongheaded beliefs. They are once again pure Christians. STRONK.
King Vsevolod appears in the doorway of the military office where the heads of the two factions are having a shouting match. Once they notice his figure glaring from the hall, they immediate quiet down.

"Is easier to make stabbing when we are always of attack."

With that said, King Vsevolod turned and left. The debate was settled.
Indeed, King Vsevolod was an absolutely brilliant leader with a real mind for tactics.
Following in his father's footsteps, King Vsevolod would personally lead the Volynian armies to glory against the Lithuanians. Many more Ruthenians were still suffering under the oppression of the Lithuanian.

Thankfully Volhynia's many allies always honor the call to war, rallying around the freedom cries of the Ruthenian people.
With only 2 years until 1633, King Vsevolod felt compelled to siege the Lithuanian lands as quickly as possible.
Russia was also preoccupied with pressing claims on the Golden Horde, and due to her split focus the Lithuanian lands were not sieging as quickly as possible. King Vsevolod was forced to use several costly assaults.

The Lithuanian armies were curiously absent for much of the war. They were even losing ground to the Livonian Order in another previously active war.
Well that explains it. They must have been cornered and obliterated.
With only a year left to grab as much land as possible, the stakes are high. To take everything King Vsevolod wants from Lithuania, he must push the war score up to around 92%. A difficult thing to do without an enemy army to smash apart.
Disaster, the Russians are attacked by a large army from another war they are involved in.
This new enemy begins to unsiege the Russian gains. This could prove extremely problematic as the final year winds down...
Oh that is just not fair. Screw it, I'm willing to go over a few months for this one. Galicia-Volhynia deserves it.
That does it! Only two months extra.
The consolidation of the Russian nation came along with the region being riddled with Russian claims. In order to avoid massive penalties from his most important ally, King Vsevolod was careful to eek out a peace deal which did not result in Russia and Volhynia sharing a border. Hopefully by the time Lithuania is fully dealt with, Russian claims will have faded and the two countries can exist in perpetual friendship.
Before moving on, the coring process was begun.
Perfect, despite desire from some of our provinces the Galicia-Volhynian people have proved their worth as intact allies to the Russians, who still love us dearly.
That's funny, most of the major changes in the last 20 years seem to center around Galicia-Volhynia.
That alliance situation has not really changed, but it also doesn't have to. Pretty much nothing can stop this league.
The Known World according to Galicia-Volhynia.

Previous countries:

-Choctaw is still not dead, though it has been halved by Castile.
-Great Britain hasn't done much but colonize, forming three colonial nations in the New World - Newfoundland, British Mexico, and British Colombia.
-Yao is still a very big deal in Western Africa and they've been busily colonizing away.
-Hadoti is of course still dead, though Malwa took them from Delhi.

Thanks for reading! Tune in next time when the dice take us to Portuguese Mexico to push around some natives!

Next chapter:

Game: Europa Universalis IV

The Ocho: Part 5 - Mexiguese

Images: 87, author: mrtherussian, published: 2017-01-30

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