The Reds Part 8: A Dithmarschen AAR

My quest to take Dithmarschen to the heights of proto-communism is nearing its end. This is because I am secret Hitler, and I am quietly murdering all the communists.

In the meantime, Riga is a threat to international peace and must be wiped from existence in order to restore balance to the world.

Riga's fort is quite a lot bigger than I would have liked. I've had to ship out a second army to capture the darn thing.

This is not simply war justification. This is ADVANCED war justification.

I lost three times as many men as Riga did. That siege really did a number on my manpower

The HRE still thinks I am expansionist. They'll come around eventually.

It's going to take some time before that coalition disbands, so I'm going to take a break and show you the world's religions. Of note is Sunni Panama, unconquered Tengri lands, and Belgium in north America.

I just grabbed an alliance with Castile. I intend to support the Republicans in the civil war.

We did a little genocide on the side. After all, we call ourselves proto-communists without committing a few little crimes against humanity here and there/

'Dearest Diary'

'Yesterday, the most curious thing happened to me. A man wearing a loincloth and sporting feathers in his hair teleported into the Hall of the People's Equally Rich Leaders in the manner of all foreign diplomats. He shouted “DOOM!”, and then immediately left to hire a ship for the months-long journey back to the Capitalist West. I think we should invent 2-way teleporters; it would be most useful for matters like this.'

'Yours fabulously, the Syndic.'

Austria continues to be irrelevant.

And they see that I pose no threat to them. If we invented the 2-way teleporter, they would change their minds about that!

Also, I've finally gotten my Syndic to 6/6/6.

The revolution kicks off in Burgundy. Why would they need a revolution? Dithmarschen is the workers revolution taken physical form!

These revolutionaries have only proven revolutionary in one area: they have found an easier way to die.

The People's of Dithmarschen want more representation in government. That's not going to happen. They might end up running the place, and then who would end up with all this money I've hoarded? That's right. Not me! What a shame that would be.

Some guy whose parents couldn't spell 'o' properly has made it lucky! Despite being bullied all the way though school for his unusual o-shaped character and even more unusual interest in pots, he made it into the big leagues by producing China in Not China.

NO, NO THREATS CAN BE FOUND HERE AT ALL! WE ARE NOT TAKING OVER GERMANY! DO NOT PANIC.

Hey guys. I think it's working.

Nobody expects the communist expedition!

The first days of our war go like lightning.*

*One might even call it a lightning war. I'm becoming even more German by the day!

More demands for representation? YOUR COUNTRY IS LITERALLY RUN BY PEASANTS*.

*really rich ones.

Leibniz gives me some free stability.

Side note: German strategic doctrine before and during World War 2 never once referred to a 'Blitzkrieg'. That particular name was invented by the news media to describe the fighting style employed be the Germans, which properly should be referred to as 'Combined Arms Warfare', meaning different arms of the army (Air force, Navy, Tanks, ect.' work together to achieve victory.*

*'Work Together' is not a phrase easily applied to the leadership of the German Army during World War 2.

The war is heavily in my favour, but I get a little overconfident at times.*

*Just like I do when playing chess.

I win in the end, forcing the other nations involved to peace out separately, so I can get all the land that I need off the Palatinate and Nuremberg, which gained independence quite recently.

This time, I will leave you all with a screenshot of the biggest joke in Europe telling the best joke in the world.

The next part of this AAR will be the last, and I might even get it out on the same day as this part, so keep your eyes open if you find this early.

This time, I leave you with the words of Chancellor Adolf Hitler of the Weimar Republic, upon hearing of the fire in the Reichstag: 'It's treason then.'