Chavchuveny! A Siberian AAR Part 8

Author: Blorktronics
Published: 2017-02-01

Part of the campaign:

Chavchuveny! A Siberian AAR

Previous part:

Game: Europa Universalis IV

Chavchuveny! A Siberian AAR Part 7

Images: 28, author: Blorktronics, published: 2017-02-01

The Grand Army of Chavchuveny!
Welcome back to Chavchuveny! A Siberian AAR!

We're enjoying a very welcome period of peace and prosperity, although Manchu are hostile, broke our alliance and are fabricating claims. We must prepare!

I want to catch up with the Europeans on military tech, so I only unlock the first idea in the Quantity tree, +50% mapower. I'll leave the rest for when I've caught up. Today marks the rise of Chavchuveny's glorious armed forces! From the farms to the cities, the mines to the forests, brave men and reindeer are queueing up to defend our dear republic from her enemies. Well, that's what we'll write down in the history books. The mass conscription, press gangs and convict birgades, we'll gloss over that...
If you're strong enough to hold a pitchfork, you're strong enough to hold a gun!
Our infrastructure is paying off in a big way, despite being a colonized province with 50% local autonomy, Stanovoy provides Chavchuveny with 535 manpower a year, increasing our manpower cap by 5350! Without any buildings Stanovoy would increase the manpower cap by only 436. Our buildings have literally increased this provinces manpower by over an order of magnitude! One can only assume every able bodied man, woman and reindeer has been press-ganged into a militia.
Chavchuveny's Holiday Resort grows!
We take a break from colonizing the wastelands of Alaska, put our colonial maintenance to maximum and begin the conquest of the island of Sulawesi! Here you can see our brave army 'conquering' a local tribe. Look, I can't afford to station troops outside of the homeland and if that makes me a genocidal supervillain, well I guess I'm a genocidal supervillain! On with the show!
It's 1680 and Chavchuveny is at least pretending to be a technologically advanced nation, it's simply unbecoming of our navy to potter around in obsolete galleys. We begin upgrading the fleet to more modern designs so we keep our edge over the damnable Japanese.
Chavchuveny's fantastic economy spurs some of our merchants to found another monopoly company. We demand up front payment because investments, dividends and long term planning are for chumps (i.e. we get more money this way).
Conscript all the things!
Men, women, children, reindeer, small annoying yapping dogs: Chavchuveny needs them all! We begin construction of two more conscription centres to boost our fledgeling army.
Holy Economy Batman!
Well would you look at that, we make over 50 ducats a month! That's like, entirely reasonable sums of cash. Our prudent financial spending (i.e. we're a tight-fisted scrooge) enables us to spend half our annual budget on buildings.
The Republic Falters!
With the re-election of yet another crony capitalist our republican tradition plumbs new depths. We haven't gotten that gorgeous 'gain 20 tradition and lose stability' event for a while, so our republic is entering some seriously choppy waters.

Which makes me think...perhaps the old republic has served its purpose? We've benefited fantastically from this government type so far, but soon Chavchuveny will begin conquering foreign lands and for that we need a government with monthly autonomy reduction. What ever should we do? Are the values of the republic sacred self-evident principles common to all mankind, or just a cheap gimmick to fuel our burgeoning economy?
Well look at that! Chavchuveny, a nation composed almost entirely of 50% autonomy 1 base-tax wasteland, has an army force limit of 41! Our infrastructure program has literally DOUBLED our force limits. It's taken a long-ass time for our buildings to produce the kind of wealth required to make conscription centres, but it's paid off in a big way.

Come to think of it, 41,000 men is a pretty big army for this part of the world. Manchu fields 60,000 men but the AI is a monkey when it comes to war and they're technologically backwards...
I mean, they're practically banging rocks together
Military Tech 15? What is this, the dark ages? Glorious Chavchuveny has glorious swivel cannons and you're pottering about with clunky culverins. We eye our neighbour's lands with envious eyes and begin fabricating claims against them...
Speaking of technology!
Chavchuveny manages to pool together enougn military points to hit tech 21. We're only 2 military techs behind the most advanced nations in the world!
Lady luck is one our side! Manchu is at the nadir of their powers!
Manchu decides to moooch off of its more advanced neighbour and begin to westernize its government. Well well well! Looks like you're about to lose a whole lot of stability and army tradition. Although, you stand to lose far more than that if we have anything to say about it...

The time is now! The iron is hot and it's time we struck!
For the first time in all of human history Chavchuveny will face its foes on the field of battle instead of hiding behind walls and navies!

Glorious victory awaits us! Men and reindeer of Chavchuveny! Your motherland calls! Rise up and smite the foul Manchu horde and send them running back to the stone age! Burn the farms! Raze the cities! Sieze their land! ATTAAAAAACK
We're badly outnumbered, we only have 41,000 men under arms (our colonial nation won't help us here...ungrateful bastards!) and the enemy has 150% of our strength. But Chavchuveny has something our enemies lack! A heart full of courage! The strength of glorious Chavchuveny reindeer!

...and really advanced guns and cannons, but that makes for a less compelling narrative.
Burn the farms! Scorch the earth! mean OUR farms?
Manchu sends an expeditionary force into our lands. We rabble together a mercenary unit to burn down anything that could provide our foes with comfort, then disband the regiment.

I want to watch these bastards starve in the depths of winter! We'll bleed their manpower dry!
On second thoughtS...ATTAAAAACK!
I was expecting 60,000 men to swarm our border, not a pathetic 20,000! With a 2:1 advantage we send our army into the jaws of the enemy. Aiaan Ka-cheda will lead our fair nation to a glorious victory!
I'll rip your hearts out! Death to all who stand against us!
The battle of Jugjir begins! Win or lose, this battle will define the fate of Chavchuveny for the next century! God stands with Chavchuveny!

In this world it will be Chavchuveny wearing the jackboots! Ha! So, yeah, I kind of under-estimated Manchu. Having 6 extra tech levels and three times the number of cannons tends to lead to stack wipes. Onwards!
Attrition? What attrition?
Our advanced supply lines and rigid training help keep our armies in the field. We have 1.8% attrition in Manchu lands, Manchu has 7% attrition in our lands. Nice!
Well hello there! More lambs to the slaughter...
Manchu sends another expeditionary force into Chavchuveny. One can only assume their orders are to link up with the previous force and prepare to fight our glorious army.

Except...the first Manchu army is no more. One can only imagine the panic the Manchu generals faced as they stumbled blindly into the Chavchuveny wilderness without seeing a trace of their predecessors. But then they finally see an army! A forest of spears and muskets march towards them. Except, there are no Manchu banners flying in this army and they are so, so far away from home...
Death sweeps over you!
I'll blast you off of the face of the Earth! Chavchuveny gives no quarter! Attack!
Another glorious victory!
The war has barely started and 2/3 of the Manchu army has been obliterated! Chavchuveny can barely believe her eyes! Neither can Manchu for that matter...

The last army approaches...
Back in the Manchu capital, unaware of their defeats they send their last strength into the wilderness to join their predecessors. This will be the final nail in the coffin for Manchu ambitions against Chavchuveny, to arms!
Protip: it isn't.
Boom! Noscoped!
To the sounds of thunderous applause from our artillery, we secure our fortunes in this war. Now all that's left is to siege our rightful clay and secure a just and lasting peace.
Hey Manchu! You don't look so good...are you ok?
With their army a mere remnant of what came before, word of defeat spreads to the Manchu capital and mass panic ensures. Forty thousand furious Chavchuvenians stand poised to swarm across Manchu lands and there is no-one and nothing left to stop them. Manchu truly belongs to Chavchuveny!

Next chapter:

Game: Europa Universalis IV

Chavchuveny! A Siberian AAR Part 9

Images: 21, author: Blorktronics, published: 2017-02-01

Check out another AAR:

Game: Civilization V, Sid Meier's

Rhode Island Bowl - Part 0 - Yo, I heard you liked unhappiness

Images: 6, author: PoblanoLimozeen, published: 2018-06-07