Brazil Vic2 HPM AAR Part IV: Days Since Last War - 0

Author: Rfasbr
Published: 2017-02-11

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Brazil Vic2 HPM AAR

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Game: Victoria 2

Brazil Vic2 HPM AAR Part III: The Politics

Images: 25, author: Rfasbr, published: 2017-02-08

Hello everyone!

The Great Powers could not resolve things diplomatically, and a big, big war was on. Brazil and the United States couldn't be bothered to join the slugfest. In Brazil's case, his Majesty reportedly said "Well we are tied up taking more lands while you shoot each other, sorry gents" in a diplomatic convention shortly before the war.

Despite the cheese, it still took a considerable time for the war in Dai Nam to resolve, mainly because I didn't ship anyone there as fast as I could. Because of sphere wars for Nicaragua, Colombia and Guatemala with GB and friends. I suck at micro.

"Your Majesty, not being directly involved in the war doesn't mean we can't try and tip the scales. We should support the Russians."

"Why, Conselheiro?"

"Honestly? Because they're fighting Britain and the Germans, those two could use losing a war. Or at least not winning by any wide margin."

"I'm repeating myself here, but why?"

"Well, it's what great powers do, and better them die than us. Do YOU want to fight them?"

After a moments pause, his Majesty shouted "MINISTER! PREPARE THE BLANK CHEQUES"
The first and illiterate troops of Brazil arrive in Dai Nam's shore, to fight the equally illiterate but even worse equipped army of Dai Nam.

Slaughter ensues.

By all accounts, in all papers, the Germans were steamrolling two fronts while the Belgians fattened themselves up with chocolate. Meanwhile the British Navy held everyone up with blockades but didn't make that many major contributions.
And finally, Dai Nam surrendered, which is important because no Brazil game is complete without Hue.
"Your Majesty, I suggest we name Hue our Eastern capitol."

"I agree. Hue, nice ring to it, right?"

"Yeah, try saying it fast"

"Huehuehuehueheu"
With new lands, came new soldiers.

With that came new commands. The General was promoted to Marshall so we could differentiate between Generals.
And all the warring was bearing fruit, as people demanded more reforms or they would, in their own words, " ... " as they didn't know many of those and they were quite sick of it.
And it passed, in a demonstration of beautiful republicanism by the very conservative Senate and accurate marksmanship by the armed peasants in the Senate Gallery, whose idea of warning shots were to kneecap the assistant secretary.
As such, with everyone convened in the War Planning room, Conselheiro started to paint the Korean Peninsula in Brazilian green.

"Now, why do we want the Koreans, Conselheiro?"

"More troops for the troop God, really. And because we can. It's time to be imperialistic, gentlemen."

"But isn't that bad? Won't it attract too much attention from the other Powers, Conselheiro?" squealed the MFA, who was queasy after reading a rather gruesome battle report from the war between the powers.

"Well, that's your job. See if anyone called dibs, but prepare the papers. I'm going out , while the Marshal can prepare the invasion plans."
"Wait, where are you going Conselheiro?" said his Majesty, rising to follow the erstwhile time-traveller.

"Oh, your Majesty. I'm going down to the beach. You should too, you're a pasty white that can't be healthy"
Land papers ready, the newspapers in Brazil were already touting the archaeological discovery of Brazilian artifacts in Pyongyang, how the backwards government there were torturing Brazilian envoys left and right and how we absolutely needed to annex the place.

All in all good journalism, 10/10.
War was declared....
And the orders were given to move.

However, the Russians suddenly took issue with that, saying "Vodka Ivan III Korea is ours cyka blyat"

The MFA informed all sitting at the war room, including both Conselheiro and his Majesty who wore Hawaiian shirts and flip flops - which the Conselheiro assured "would be all the rage in just a few years, but wait until I tell you about bikinis"

"Now we are at war with another Great Power. The Russian Army is better than ours, right?"

"Oh, absolutely," said the Marshall. "They've not wasted time researching philosophy or romanticism, so they've got everything we don't."
"How do we proceed then, gentlemen?"

"Oh, they'll take long to trek across Siberia. If we move fast, we can annex Korea before they're even there."

"So what, Conselheiro? Won't they still beat our armies to a pulp?"

"The Cheese tells me 'no'"

With that assurance, the reinvigorated Marshall gave the orders. "All Generals, this is a time attack anexation!"

While that happened, we inherited Luang Prabang. The story about Brazil being the rightful owners of lands far away was spiraling out of control.
And so it was that the larger army was maneuvering towards the border with Russia...
While the recon army mopped up a rebellion and everyone else.
Fully occupied, the Koreans surrendered.
While peasants, demanding more Scrabble skills, enforced better schools in the entire country.
The papers were signed...
And the cheese's prediction came true.

"The Russians says 'ah, we can't do anything against your dibs call. Let's peace out', more or less, gentlemen"
MORE ARMY FOR MEAT GRINDY

The ministers of Economy and Foreign Affairs were having quite the times of their lives. With a booming economy, Brazil could and would invest in absolutely everywhere that'd let them.
No matter how far and how unaligned to Brazil they were.

"Profit first, ideology a far second" was the Economy Minister motto.
As such, we had a lot of investment.
The Marshall pointed out that the Spanish still had holdings and that we ought to take them.

Conselheiro shed a tear, happy to see that the teachings he had were taking roots.
A problem, however, did present itself, in the form of an alliance with the Russians and the Dutch. The Dutch were still under French influence, and there was no way the Brazilian Army and the Gorilla Navy could take these 3 naval powers.
However the papers were already being forg- I mean, expertly discovered, so the move orders where given. If maybe there was an assurance that the French would favor us, and not them, then there could be a way to wrestle one extra colony from the Spaniards.
While that happened, the Brazilian army was issued machine guns. Not that they had any idea how to use them, nor the strategies to go with them, but they had machine guns nonetheless.
The "discovery" of land papers went off without a hitch. However, war wasn't declared as the world came off the 1880's New Year.
There was more philosophy to be had...
...while some rioted and sabotaged things back in the mainland.

The Emperor got called into Germany for a conference, and he attended.
There, his Majesty and the US President were sidelined by the European powers, who were treating themselves to speeches that said how they had a right to own African lands under force of arms.

While the North American was bored beyond comprehension, the South American Majesty and God of All the Peoples that Accepted Him, No Hard Feelings Otherwise, wanted in on the action and was promptly told "You're not European, so how about a big cup of No?"
Not to be discouraged, the Minister sent for archaeological expeditions in Coptic Ethiopia. His Majesty chose Eastern to Southern Africa as the focus for Brazilian ambitions in the continent.
A move which wasn't taken lightly by the other powers.
And that fell flat on its face, really
Looking for a reason, his Majesty was told that the map for Africa these days was an assorted mess of post-it notes on a whiteboard.

What happened was Two Sicilies.
Being a great power, they helped themselves to part, but not all, of Ethiopia, thus breaking the justification for no apparent reason.
Again, not discouraged, the next best thing was to make a beachead into Ethiopia, by force.

And that went a bit better.
But the colonization was not over, not by a long shot.

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